Etsy has decided to shut my store down.

After 100% feedback, and 224 sales, I’m shut down. I  can’t even have an account now, even to buy. They are turning me off on Tuesday completely and I am now grabbing all my customer data off.

Reason?  Good Question. They cited “user complaints”, but won’t elaborate further. Since I can’t use the forums or Storque so I’m not sure what they can find to complain about me with, other than I work for Artfire and exist.

I cant say I’m surprised. I’ve been expecting this since September when I joined on at Artfire and announced it here on my blog, so this is just the other shoe dropping. I’ve more or less stayed on out of pure spite.

You can of course find me on Artfire for all your pincushiony needs.

(I just sent this letter to national Operations email address)

Dear National Amusements,

Right now as I’m writing this I’m trying to decide what to eat for dinner after “eating dinner” at your theatre. See I’m trying to decide what would be willing to puke up later should the food poisoning I fear I might have gotten from your food should hit.

See, we decided to splurge today and try the local Cinema de lux in Springdale, Ohio and see Wolverine on opening night in one of your “directors halls”.

It cost a little more than going to the Rave (our usual fave) but the prospect of ordering food from our seats was nice since we were starving and we hoped it would be a better behaved and more adult crowd (wasn’t, still had a chatty housewife and a screaming baby).

It had taken me a while to even find out more about your Director’s Hall Theatres. There is precious little info on your site, and certainly not connected to the page for my theatre where I’d of course want to be able to access it. I had to google it and read a newspaper article in Connecticut about it to get what it was. So there is a head up for you, fix your site. It’s cumbersome as hell.

So anyway, back to the show:

We ordered moments before the opening credits. Finally.

Our food didn’t come until well after the movie started. Like 30 min into it. We had ordered two burger combos (burger, fries, drink) but came on ONE paper tray piled so high it as impossible to deal alone with as there was no place to put it. We sat it on the floor and started eating in the dark. They hadn’t brought any ketchup packets, the burgers, while large, were dressed poorly (barely any ketchup, NO mayo or NO cheese as ordered)

The fries were cold, and limp, largely inedible. The burgers were all but lukewarm… well raw.

Not rare, RAW. There was a cooked outer shell, After a few bites I noticed that meat seemed well… mushy. Soft even. I stuck my finger into the meat, in the dark mind you, and felt the patty. Wet, cool and it pulled away and molded easily in my fingers. My stomach tuned. My husband was so hungry he had devoured his without too much thought other than it was food, and he is a man that likes everything charred to a cinder. I sat mine aside.

After the movie I got a look at it. Not only was my burger raw it wasn’t bloody. Meaning it was barely cooked. Ground beef only gets blood after it gets hot as the fibers break down releasing the juices, this did not even get hot enough to do this, so it was beyond rare. It was raw.

All in all it was a confusing experience, once we’re not sure we’ll repeat, we’ll stick with the Rave. At least they won’t try to kill me.

Jen Segrest

Over on Etsy the talk is about how etsy sellers are the new spam villian because of the (etsy staff suggested) spamming twitter with all thier listings, relistings and bullcrap.

The thing is Etsy has been telling sellers for months to join twitter as it’s a “great way to promote your items!”. Since most etsy sellers are older females and the whole social media thing has escaped them they don’t get HOW to twitter or WHAT it is they do what Etsy says. They constantly relist items and tweet every last one of them. Their feeds are filled with nothign more than “check out my crap!” and links to etsy.

In short if you live in a cave, Twitter has been called a Microblog, I like to think of it as Public Short Attention Span text message everyone in the world can see. You can only use 140 characters – the limit on text messages is roughly 160. This allows you some space for a username. Since many people twitter from phones etc, you now get the whole character limit thing.

Last week Etsy supported a “etsy day” which mostly consisted of tweeting about etsy, and made it go to #1 in twitter trends, while I’m sure many learned about Etsy that day it annoyed people about 1000% more people.

I joined up a few months ago and I love it, but it took me a few weeks to get wrap it around my brain. It really took hold with me, and with the new job making me too busy to blog all the time I haven’t really had time to blog, but I do have time to twitter. Twitter killed this blog, one that I’ve unrecently posted to about 3 times a week or more since 2001.

So as a avid Tweeter, one that now “gets it” let me pass on what I know to folks out there.

I have a few tips:

• If you don’t understand Twitter, stay off it, moron. Seriously, we don’t want you there anyway. Really I mean it. It’s not a hard thing to get, so maybe you should follow some peopel and learnabout it first.
• Don’t follow everyone who follows you. This isn’t kindergarten. Do you book mark every site you go to? You should only follow people who you enjoy reading. If someone replies to you and you like thier tweets, sure go  for it. Maybe it’s a start of a beautiful friendship! But if you follow 1000 people you won’t know or be able to read any of them.
• Don’t get into how many followers you have. It’s no an indication as your worth as a person. Just means you have that many people who think you suck less than other people.
• No one gives a shit what you sell. Really. I mean it. NO ONE. If you are there to sell, get off. Not everyone uses twitter as you do. That means twitter wasn’t made for you to spam, It was made to connect people.
• It’s a conversation, with or without people. I said it in a tweet a couple weeks ago with someone about celebrities that are on Twitter now. Most don’t reply to anyone, ever, but just blather about thier day as if it’s the word of god from on high. “They don’t get that it’s SOCIAL media, not LOOK AT MEdia”. Most twitter people don’t get that either, and many Etsy sellers think it was invented to be text advertising. (not lying!) Talk to people more than you talk at them and you’ll be a halfway decent Twitterite.
• People who are funny are better tweeters. If you are missing the humor gene, STFU. Really. There are enough crochety killjoys out there already.
• Dont tweet everything you do, less is more. And by extension: Random is more fun that minutia. I’ve been known to just tweet that “I Like Fruit Punch!” or “I just ate ham with my fingers because I’m a fancy lady!” the like and I’ll get people replying how they do too! It’s weird but funny in it’s own way.
• I like to tweet during TVs Shows I’ve found some great other fans that way! (Run a search for your show name during your show and you’ll find some funny comments as you watch it’s great.)
• It’s a great place to ask for advice, tips, links… give the same to others too. Find a funny link? I wanna see!
• More than your “followers” see your posts. Many people use various apps for Twitter and many like to view (at least sometimes) tweets by everyone along side the ones they are following. So if you send out those tweets on your items for sale you ARE spamming indiscriminately without meaning to.

Okay thats the basics I think. Just some tips to keep in mind, but again, if you don’t get it. You don’t have to many of us do, let us have it and move on.

Yes I’m still alive. Just busy.
Anyway, I have noticed there is a new campaign out for a lady shaver recently, and they take divergent angles to the same point. One is British I think, the other I saw on TV in the US here. The latter was so subtle Mr Man didn’t even know what it was about the first time before I had to explain it with the power of TiVo. It’s nice to see they are going after women with some humor for once.

I know my readers, if I have any left, enjoy my video finds, so here you go!

Cried like a crazy woman during the inaugural, everytime I'd see someone on TV crying it'd get me too. And I'm not a crier. Just so incredible.

Last night Mr Man and I went out to eat, O'Charlie's nothing fancy, it was there, but the place was packed. I mean every seat packed. On a wednesday. It's never busy to go out to eat here on Wednesdays. The place was upbeat and chatty.

I told Mr Man it was "Hope". Evidentially it smells like chargrilled steak.

MMMM, hope, rare indeed.

Long time readers know that I always post the wost, most fucked up, most depressing holiday song I know of as a yearly tradition… this year is no different!

Red Sovine's "Faith In Santa"

It has everything you want at Xmas… a part time store Santa – and a dying abused homeless boy!

(It's only a "song" in that same way that Willian Shatner is a "recording artist".)

I have been up to my eyeballs in work. Ugh.

Everyday a version 1 page of the new artfire site is coming up, and I'm desiging stuff every day, all day, to keep the programmers busy.All chock full of features to make sellers cry with joy.

 I'm filling it so full of killer tool ideas, and such a complete solution that I'm expecting Etsy to shut me down at any time out of pure spite claiming I'm an enemy combatant or something. So if you want to buy from me come to my Artfire shop, but don't expect it quick, I'm working so long and hard that I'm having problems finding time to make orders.  I'm happy about that though. I like being busy, and they are loving my work, as are the other sellers. Just wait till they see it all done.

Call me Dr Nick, because I'm gonna kill Big E. ::: Insert evil laugh here:::

 Otherwise life is good, My npehew is getting even more adorable:

I know, I can't believe I'm related to him either. He has now officaly eaten his first IKEA food, so we're ingraing it early. ONly a couple m ore eyars before I can take him for a visit and dump him in IKEA Småland child care. I'm in!

Never piss off a designer. We're mercenaries and we'll sell our wares to anyone who appreciates it. Even if it was intended for someone else.

I normally never discuss work in progress, but wanted to talk about it, and I'm sick of living in fear of Etsy retribution for not being a team player when the team has no coach, no bus and no game schedule.

So after a year of suggesting ways Etsy to do the right things on it's site (and making comps to show them), how to behave the right way and stop being hipster asshats and start acting professional – and being muted for it – I am done with trying. I'm now out of the closet and annoucing I am helping their newest competition.

I approached Artfire.com a few weeks ago with some suggestions after seeing the need for some improvement in their online site and branding my first visit. They quickly told me they were only a few months old and were about to start a redesign etc to get them into battle mode. They are a new new up and coming still in beta but serious about aking Etsy down at the knees. They read the blogs, and Etsy's own forums, and saw a need to fill a gap for a craft market site that listened to it's customers, gave value for the money and was already finisihing up on greatly desired features Etsy hasn't coughed up yet. I sent them my resume and links.

They liked my suggestions, and was immediately contracted to redesign their logo, site, user experience, magazine ads, banner ads  – the works. They want to pay me for everything I was trying to stupidly give Etsy for free under the guise of being a concerned user.

Artfire also wants to one up Etsy in the way that baffles most people – Etsy's lack of advertising impetus. They are putting HUGE money into advertising in the next few months to get the people over and more importantly the buyers for the holidays and are devoting a staggering amount into more mass market ads that makes Etsy's paltry attempts (stupid ass lottery style co-op ads in magzines most people don't read) seem like they are putting a finger painting on a fridge door by comparison.

And with me I bring the knowledge of what Etsy users have been asking for for years, and suggestions I originally gave to Etsy trying to make them a better site. Etsy can suck it.

The work I'm doing for Artfire is some of my nicest recently, and I'm jazzed to help another option be more viable to the community of crafters I've grown to know.

I dunno how long the gig will last, design for hire biz being what it is, but while I'm doing it I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Even republicans aren't digging Palin when the mics are off.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrG8w4bb3kg

And for more on Palin's credentials:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSdFIDygFwM

And if you missed the last SNL skit, here you go!

View Larger Map

Alaska's shore is about 50 miles from Russia's shore. There are two islands midway that are on the border – THEY are one mile apart. Two rocky ice pimples in the Bering Strait. I live 50 miles from Kentucky, that doesn't make me a hillbilly.

Key West is 90 miles from Cuba. Cuba is far more populated than that easternmost icy nipple on Russia's coast. Also many more people in Key West and weekly Cubans trying to raft in in old tires. The Mayor of Monroe County (that's the the Keys) has more experience with dealing with Communists than Palin. And they joke about being a separate country!

I can't belive people are buying this shit.. oh wait… yes I do. These fools elected Bush, twice.

Costco has some interesting options for the  "sky is falling" crowd…

A huge bucket of Emergency Food
MMMM Just looks so appetizing doesn't it? All Vegetarian AND a 20 year shelf life?
I'll take dying in a fiery apocolypse please!

They also have a Emergency kit that includes everything but a FEMA form and a body bag. 

 But if your house get's swept away, good luck finding it, so you better bury it in the backyard for safekeeping.

Since taking up selling my pincushions on etsy. Urgh I suck.

Well the news is Mr Man lost his job he got last fall on Aug 8th. The day before my birthday, so needless to say there was not birthday. No gifts. Not dinner. We're both looking for fulltime work, nothing solid so far, but weboth have some leads. So hopefully this time in two weeks one or both of us will be employed, and we won't be homeless (crosses fingers).

 If anyone in Cinci needs a kick ass IT manager with tons of experience on everythign from phones systems to office managment and a bunch of other stuff – or a spiffy cool web designer who can do print work too – let me know.

My Son Hates Being Homeschooled

OMG Furries… homeschooling… furry hour… barking at teacher… brain hurt… where to… start… fzzt grrp!

::thud:: 

At some point the last fews weeks EVERY voicemail we've gotten the last year appeared back in our saved voicemail box. Time Warner Digital phone FTW!

Took me an hour to delete them all… ugh!

Blew my knee out the day before I was to go to Pennsic, thus why I am not there. OUCH, Majorly OUCH. How did I do it? It's been sore past few weeks, been crunchy for 20 years thanks to a misguided landing off a theater stage, then after a shopping trip I put my hand on a wall to steady myself as kicked off my Birks. BAM! Just like that. Standing still.

I'm so talented.

Now I have to figure out how to convince Mr Man to unpack the car for me. (yeah right)

Think the 2003 movie with Jessica Alba from a few year back was bad? Try the one made in 1993. Made by Roger Corman – do I need to say more? Rger Corman is the Home Shopping Chanel of movie makers in my opinion.

So bad, Avi Arad with Marvel (behind the recent Marvel blockbusters like Spiderman, Hulk and Ironman), gave Corman the money he paid out making it and orderd it burned and had everyone's memries wiped. (Okay I made that one up.)

The pictures are cringe worthy. My bro has seen a bootleg of it and he said it was incredibly bad.

Dr. Horrible, if you haven't seen it, is a three part (so far) surprisingly brilliant musical web series from Joss Whedon and his brothers and pals. I've never been a big Whedon fan, sorry guys, my geek cred is tarnished, but I do like this. Top it with Neil Patrick Harris, who is awesomely cool in a way that no one quite understands, and it's just great. 

It was free for a short time in July on the website above, and is now on iTunes. But thanks to Hulu.com you can still get it free for a few more days on the Dr Horrble Site, but you can't take it with you on your ipod (which I like for those boring times). 

It's been a MONTH since I posted? Wow. I've never gone that long, just been busy and not much has been happening. Waiting for Bush to implode into a pile of fiery dung beetles, or January, which ever comes first.

 aw this video today and decided I had to spread the word, all font geeks will snarf. Of course anyone into WWII might too. I know I did. Har!

Anyway, just catching my breath from all the etsy sales, had a ton last month and I am finally finishing them, thank god.

Maybe I'll share some pics of the nephew while I'm at it… he's a cutey.

This pic is cute int hat he looks so bored, and so much like my brother. That's even before you realize this is a suit that my brother wore at this age. (There is a pic of him in it but it's not online)

This one just cracks me up with the hat. Looks like a little comedian from the 50's.

Have I mentioned his mom is a photographer? There are more pics here, including some of my brother with Nick so you can see the resemblance.

"Had this is fish bones cable winder, Earphone wire in above, Adjusts the suitable length, Nearby two firmly arranged ok, Convenient, practical, is artistic, Suits each kind of earphone use, The exterior dexterous is popular, After the use the dirty dirt may with ease clean.
The color is stochastic"

Want to know what it is?

There are some real good commercials on and I thought I'd share a couple, and one awful one.

First, Burn Notice is back in 4 loooong weeks and this new promo for it is freaking hawt.

Second, the series of commercials for freecreditreport.com are catchy, likable and never annoying. He sings about his house, job and car and how these are effected by bad credit. I never find myself annoyed by them

Which is completely oppsite to my reaction to the Esurance crap fest that I hate with an all comsuming passion. DIE DIE DIE squeaky whiny songwriter I've never heard of. DIE!

I twittered a little of this, consider that the teaser to this.

Mr Man is a good sport, you have to be to be married to me. Trust me on that. 

Knowing I needed maxi pads (i was going to run out for some later tonight) and he was out he stopped in at Walgreens for me on the way home. Now, in about 15 years together I have NEVER asked him to get them for me, I know it's not a task men are really familiar or comfortable with. It's my problem I do it, I think he appreciates that.

After many minutes of telling him the brand, and style I wanted, and him not being able to find them, flustered he asked scanning a huge aisle of maxipads "How the hell do you find the ones you need?"

"P&G used to have icons on the packaging like sailboats and clovers I think put there to help husbands find the right ones I think, but I think they stopped it." I said over the phone.

He started to list off various varieties. "Why do you girls need so many of these anyway? Don't they all do the same thing?" I can hear the frustration his voice.

I try to translate it into Man-ese. "It's like trying to buy screws, each one does something specific or has a slightly different thread. It's like that."

 "Oh, I see. How do I tell if these are these metric or SAE?"

God I love that man.