(Note to self: I should name all my posts about friends with titles like “Friends”.)

So, Saturday I went to my pal Bev’s house and helped her cull the monster wardrobe. She moving into another friends place temporarily and as a result she has too much stuff. But then she has too much stuff for most houses.

Her culling the wardrobe is a good thing. All her working wear was being donated to a charity that gives working clothes to underprivileged women who are referred from various other community help and outreach organizations.

I was asked to be the sole judge and jury for her closet, aka “fashion show”. She’s a bit of a clothes horse, and her mother keeps giving her tons more and teamed with a pat rack instinct it made for a dubiously large amount to go through.

It went something like this:

Me: No, it doesn’t fit across the hips (bust, arms).
Her: But I can tuck it in!
Me: No. You want clothes that fit. And you don’t tuck in shirts like that anyway.
Her: But-!”
Me: No! To the ladies!

(We started calling the pile to go to the working charity “the ladies”

Me: Oh god no!
Her: That bad?
Me: Take it off before I burn you in it.

Me. No, we talked about this, you only get to keep two black blazers. One fitted straight line and the double breasted. Those both fit you awesome. You don’t need more than that.
Her: But I like this one!
Me: It doesn’t fit as good as the keepers on the rack over there. No.
Her: But-”
Me: To the ladies!

Me: (Give it to) Goodwill.
Her: But it’s pretty! I want to look like a girl!
Me: Okay, okay. I know I dress like a giant lesbian, but I’m telling you that is too tight across the boobs. And No. You get no veto on this one.
Her: (sighs) Okay.

All in all the stack to go to the charity was over 4 foot high, and there was a VERY large garbage bag of clothes for Goodwill. And that was just her closet, we never even got to her dresser. I even managed to make her a couple very girly office outfits (Hot pink! Flowers! Skirt!) out of stuff she didn’t know she had, or wasn’t going to keep at all. So that’s cool.

During the whole thing off and on I was imitating Kelly from “The Office” by clapping and chanting “Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!”. She doesn’t watch the show so it was lost on her.

But it was therapeutic I think for her to get rid of so much stuff that she really didn’t need and help so many in the process. And really help someone who really needs it to make a new life, not just give it to Goodwill to sell. I encourage everyone to grab your bluntest friend and do the same.

They had me sign in when I got there, then I went out and started wandering with the camera. A few minutes later one of the IKEA guys I met during the accidental meeting approached me saying they wanted me to have a media kit. I was smooth but inside I was squealing ‘They WANT me to have a kit! I’m REALLY media!’

I tried to stay out of the way of the pros, hung out on one wall shooting pictures of the people there as much as the IKEA folks. I got some nice pics as a result but some I missed good shots for trying to stay out of the way. If I had a better camera I could have tried acting like I was a big shot, but my 3+ year old minolta (4mp! still good!) wasn’t lying to anyone.

Once in a while someone would see the shirt and place me as “that woman with the website” and I’d reward them with a magnet. I apologized to a few people I got in trouble (oops! But I told them it was for the site!) but largely just hung and wooted (softly) during the speech at the right spots.

I have some more over on OHIKEA… but it was a fun day! I couldn’t get the pictures online fast enough.

I didn’t sleep last night much either.

We don’t get the local paper and get most of our news off the internet (I am an odd in American that I prefer international news) but tonight when Mr Man and I were on our way to a way swanky dinner at Jeff Ruby Steak house (courtesy of a ginormous gift card gift from one of his vendors) we heard this story on the radio that someone in the area skinned and boiled a dog alive in oil.
(If that link doens’t work, go to bugmenot.com for a pass, but warning it’s a rough story to read.)

Mr Man and I were both on the edge of tears. We are huge animal softies so to hear that just a few miles from our house, with our menagerie of dogs and cats, that someone did something this horrific… Sickened isn’t the word. Trenton is just behind our platt, I mean this is CLOSE to us. I just wanted to go home and hug my dogs all night.

I’ve stated before that Ohio’s animal cruelty laws are so antiquated. They barely give you a slap on the wrist, and something of this magnitude would bring a whopping six months in jail max.

I hate to say it but if this is what it takes to finally wake Ohio’s (now thankfully mostly Democrat) legislators up then perhaps this dog died for something.

If you want donate money to help find this monster please do. If there is a desire I can set up a paypal and hand deliver the funds since I am in the area. But more than anything, if you live in Ohio (or even if you don’t), please please please contact your state representative and demand that Ohio catch up with the modern age and bring in animal cruelty laws that will make offenders wish they weren’t born. They might not stop them from committing the first one, but if we catch the bastards it will damn well stop them from committing a second, or as our Sheriff said stop them from moving on to people.

Down: Doing work that I know is below my skill (barely glorified data entry) and in my previous occupations they would have hired a grunt temp for it or not bothered at all… for four whole hours. feeling washed up and worthless.

Up: My check for the pincushions book came $700 biotch! That new 80 GB ipod is MINE! WOOO! Or do I want a new digital camera… hrmmm, Ipod, camera… ipod… camera… iPod winning. Might keep looking for camera deals, find one I like and hope find a good refurb.

Down: Moments after dancing over the check I’m informed that there was some kind of cross species biological incidences (plural) in the house. A cat threw up in a few places, and a dog (probably my Mags) had a bad bout or traveling Diarrhea… all… over the house. Well Shit. Mr man arried home to find it and shut the door and said “We’re out of paper towels and I’m not touching it before dinner so let’s go out to eat and then pick up the stuff we need to clean up a biohazard site on the way back.” Took us twenty minutes to get the nerve up to reopen the door.

We still have all the windows open, he says he can’t still smell it, I swear I can. I think it’s burned in my synapses now. Cause of incident unknown they all seem fine so I’m guessing it was a big orgy/tickle fight. Zelda and Gary have a thing I’m sure.

Up: Shopping for iPods.. and cameras… and iPods! 80 GB baby!

Down: Still have to deposit check and wake up at 5:00am to go BACK to work to shoot pictures for the GMA visit. I know it’ll take longer than they said it would, I should have lied and said I was still going to to Chicago for the weekend.

Since I’m the 5th biggest hit for the website (and I should know) I’m putting it here too….

gma-big-graphic: Originally uploaded by Jungle Jim’s International Market.

If you don;t know I just started working here in the Creative Department.

Jungle Jim’s is THE coolest grocery anywhere in the world, and thats saying something since we have food from 75 countries and a wine/beer section to beat all comers. And if you can’t come, PLEASE watch! We would love to give them killer ratings so maybe others will come to cover us on tv!!! Wear garb! Bring the boy scout troop! Come in your favorite sports dork wear! Just come!

If you have been there tell all your friends to watch, and if you haven’t tell all your friends to watch! If you are local please come to the store for the filming!

babe machine: Originally uploaded by verybigjen.

Saw this in the parking lot yesterday. The front fenders are purple the back navy blue, the rest is rusty white. It’s a calico!

Sweet ride: Originally uploaded by verybigjen.

And check out that spoiler… he gets laid a lot I bet!!

This will only make sense to those in the Cinci area: I MET JUNGLE JIM.

It’s true. I did. I thought after shopping there for almost 8 years and never spotting The Man that perhaps he was a figment of the imagination, a hired Italian spokesmodel, or even perhaps a Pixar creation… but no, I saw him. And he has a Segway he toodles around the store on. (For those not local - Jungle Jim’s store is uhmmmm over six acres of Foodie Heaven.) I used the opportunity to grovel for the creative opening they have and generally worship him properly.

We went to build xmas basket for the inlaws, and also loaded up on the essentials - dumpling sauce, Dutch Windmill cookies that are heavenly spiced goodness, some indian cooking sauces, German Ice Wine, Dunkle Beer, and brandy filled chocolate “beans”. Yup, essentials. Really.

My happy news: Ken Blackwell has conceded the Ohio Governor’s race! More than 20% behind Strickland… think people REALLY don’t like Blackwell? HAHAHAH!

Everything is looking blue! 3 more seats to control the senate! Still more time to go!

and he pulls out the attractive daughter card! Oh! So unexpected!

His daughter talks about how super her dad is, how he came from nothing, etc… All Kenny does is smile.

I watch a lot of documentaries and I’ve always heard snakes couldn’t do that, amazing.

No attacks this time on Strickland, frankly I think they’ve run out of ideas on what to lie about next. It’s all about damage control now. His attack ads are getting the opposite effect he wanted, and he’s learning people don’t like him, a lot. This is the first ad of him looking like a human and not some stuffed suit spewing vemon, featuring a person genetically bound to like him.

Just going to his website to get that link makes me want to take a shower.

What I think is more telling is that the video on YouTube has had comments and ratings disabled. Nice.

Okay, something else is bugging me and I wish to hell I’d included it in my letter. Maybe I’ll resend it with it included.

WHEN did taking the high ground, not returning the cheap shots and lies, become a sign of weakness anyway? Historically taking the high ground was the grown up thing to do, a sign of strength and great mental fortitude.

And WHAT the hell makes them think that what Blackwell wants to do, the stance they seem to be endorsing, is the truth? How can you tell what the truth from him is if he’s proven he’ll say ANYTHING to win no matter how despicable.

Argh!!!

More on Blackwell: Paint Ohio Blue Blog with this post about Blackwell being UN-endorsed by a newspaper after last Monday’s Gubernatorial debate when he claimed a vote of Strickland’s was to make NAMBLA happy. He’s also trying to start a classic Bush-like whisper campaign that Strikland’s gay. (He’s been married 18 years…

The Cincinnati Enquirer of course endorses him enough though they denounce his filthy lies.

I sent them this letter:

Shame on you.

You’re right this Gubernatorial race is about honesty and character, yet you endorse Blackwell as you in the same breath denounce his campaign of lies and deceit to discredit a man who by your own admission is honorable.

You admit Blackwell’s playing dirty and outright lying, and that just peachy keen I guess because he’s SUCH a man of character afterall.

Character matters or it doesn’t, make up your mind. You admit Strickland is a worthy man of good standing who is taking the high ground, and you endorse a childish, petty, angry and decitful opponent who is so desperate he is stopping at nothing to win.

And why not, he’s just like George W Bush. Just what Ohio needs. Look how well the republicans have treated Ohio and it’s interests so far, they all but invested our money in a Nigergian email scam.

I have to say it’s almost predicatable with the history Blackwell has in this city that you would endorse him despite his obvious desperate character flaws. I think you fear if you endorsed a democrat you’d lose too many subscribers, and in Cinci you’d probably be dead right on that.

But you could sleep at night.

Jen Segrest, Middletown

Other Ohio election news: The week of October 30th The Daily Show is going to be doing shows from Ohio State University ALL that WEEK! Of course if you aren’t a student you are SOL. If they do just one jailhouse interview with Traficant (that nutbag) I’ll forgive them.

This is purportedly running in 10 states including Ohio I think on TV, but more likely radio: GOP to Black Women: You are “HO’s”

Blackwell is trying to get Strickland ruled ineligibleto run over a techinicality - both are running for Govenor, and Black well for those not in Ohio is currently our Secretary of State and as greasy, sneaky and conniving as they come. Pretty much every thing qustionable regarding elections in the past four years is thanks to him. What an utter bastard.

Please let him lose, please let him lose, God I’ll pretend to belive in you if you let him lose… Ohio is better than he is.

Salem Massachuetts has nothing on us. Let the witch hunts begin! Students will be accusing gym teachers, nieghbors will tag that fat guy down the street who mows his lawn without a shirt… My god, what a basket of snakes they’ve opened and set loose.

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Ohio candidate for U.S. Senate wants gays dead

Sherrod Brown (also a Democrat) is a shoe-in next to Mr KKKeiser.

In other news: Voting machine support costly

So, Secretary of State Ken Blackwell, Republican Sith Lord, who I’ve mentioned before for being accused of peeing in the Republican pool, picked Diebold (Ohio company run by another Republican Sith Lord) to be the Voting machien of choice for the state and is now basically telling the Ohio counties “Tough nuts, you’re on your own” when the Diebold presented them the Microsoft Shaft model of tech support billing now out of the blue. Nice way to get Bush’s buddies in tthe door and keep getting paid for years after.

Remember how I said after the elections that Ohio was a 50/50 state mired in a split personality? Need proof?

Ohio State legislator proposes ban on adoption by homosexuals spurs another Ohio State legislator to propose ban adoptions by republicans.

Ken Blackwell, the Ohio Sec . of State, and a big Bush backer, is keeping it in the family and running a smear campaign against his Republican opponent in the race for Ohio Governor. And the Republican party don’t like it.

Ken Blackwell winning is something I’m really afraid of. I’ve had him on my googlewatch for the last two years, he’s super sneaky. His being from Cincinnati makes him less than trustworty, becasue as far as I’m concerned the entire lot of the Cincinnati politicios are corrupt in one way or another.

In other news I am alive. Something I was hoping for.

I had my gastro scope this morning for a looksie at my Barrett’s Esophagus, and I’m still working off the meds. They always seem to either not give me enough or too much. I’m hard to put to down, and because of my size, they usually end up giving me A LOT of anesthesia to keep me there. They always end up having to give me so much my waking up is a bit of a, uhm, isssue. One year i guess they had to shoot me with something else to try to GET me awake.

I’m a mean waker upper too. One year I cursed out the nurses for continually waking me up (their job). This year I apologized in advance.

I think this time they gave me too much too late as I was awake for most of them wriggling the scope in my throat and seemed to be trying to will myself not to fight the tube, but it’s instinctive, but was out like a light as soon as they removed it. And had a hard time coming to, like always.

They pump air in as they scope as they look around and it results in constant burping around the uncomfortable pipe every 20 seconds or so. Nothing so graceful as a large woman doped to near unconsciousness with a tube down her throat complimented with a continuous series of deep rumbling belches.

I made it home about noon, and didn’t wake up till 6pm. 8:30 now and I’m still not fully awake yet (I dozed off a few times writing this).

SO here we go - if you feel you have the cahoneys:

Todays scope:

And one from 1998:

One to put Beggar’s night back on Halloween.

Around here though, I have noticed more and more of the no-fun Christians stealing one of the few gems of being a kid but not letting their children walk on Beggar’s night because it’s “demonic”.

Yeah, as a kid I remember the Dark Lord summoning my in my sleep to don a crappy mask that scratched my face, made me half blind and go door to door to spread evil begging like a common homeless man for carbohydrate poisons. It wasn’t fun, noooo. Not in the least. Serious business that.

I would be more willing to believe that Satan owns the costume factories because those masks are evilly uncomfortable!

Blast from the past #1: My post on my Halloween as a Pharaoh in a coat

Blast from the past #2: Read the #1 link above then click below to see Funky Blue, my brother, this year…
(more…

For this.

We really wish sometimes they’d just give the northern half to Michigan or Canada already.

I was reading RowdiGirl due to a hit tracker link, and I saw this entry, reading I realised most of my answers are identical, which is not common in this country. (Go out east and Ask for a “POP”, they look like you just asked them to punch you.) I figured she must be from Ohio. So, I looked for a bio block and I found, it, Yup, Ohio. Damn, I’m good.

So, anyway, it’s nice to see another Ohio Blogger. I’ve added her to the list of reads down belows on the left and given her the honored * (buckeye?) of
“Ohioanism”.. is that a word?

So… My answers to the This or That Tuesday - late as I never usally do these things:

1. Kleenex or tissue? kleenex

2. Soda or pop (or tonic or whatever)? Pop
– pure test of true Ohioanism.

3. A sandwich on a long roll: sub or hero? sub

4. Glasses or spectacles? Glasses

5. TV or television? TV

6. Movie or film? Movie
- but then I think of FILM as being art house stuff and MOVIES being the local pleace.

7. Sofa or couch? couch
- sofa if I refer to it to easterners.

8. Stove or range? Stove

9. Remote control or clicker? Remote

10. Supermarket or grocery store? Grocery

Ohio, it’s a state of mind. I’ll let you guess where the armpit is.

Dave put up his, here’s my state’s. (I tried to remove the duplicates to Pennsylvania, and added a few of my own.)

1. You don’t think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.
 
2. You snicker when someone’s from Lebanon or Marysville because you think of the State Prison.
 
3. You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!

4. You’ve hd of 3.2% beer.
 
5. Schools close for the state basketball tournament, and the Red’s Opening Day Parade.
 
6. You’re proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.
 
7. You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
 
8. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
 
9. You know what a real buckeye is, cheer for the live ones, and have a recipe for candy ones.
 
10. “Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”
 
11. You’ve hd of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.
 
12. You know if other Ohioans are from central, southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
 
13. You root for a college team though you’ve never taken a class there.
 
14. You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta, Ashtabula, and you know which letter is doubled in “Cincinnati.”
 
15. You know the proper way to say Lima (Lyma), Berlin (BUHRlin), and Rio Grande (Rhyo Grand).

16. You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.
 
17. You know what game they’re playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.
 
18. “Vacation” means spending a day at Cedar Point or King’s Island.
 
19. You measure distance in minutes.
 
20. Down south to you means Kentucky
 
21. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
 
22. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
 
23. You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
  
25. You know what’s knee-high by the Fourth of July.
 
26. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s my coat at?”
 
27. It’s Interstate, or Highway - NOT Freeway or Expressway.
 
28. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with mini marshmallows.
 
29. You carry jumper cables in your car, and have used them to secure your stuff in your car’s trunk while moving.
 
30. You know what “pop” is. And “soda” is a word that makes you snicker.
 
31. You expect rain, sleet and/or snow on Halloween, and Christmas to be 70 degrees and sunny.
 
32. You know how to cut a parking lot doughnut for killer spin velocity.
 
33. You know every exit on I-71
 
34. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
 
35. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

36. You only own 3 spices, salt, pepper, and ketchup.

37. You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.

38. You’ve met Cheap Trick at the County Fair.