Archive for the 'Bitchin' Haikus' Category

You tell me…

Why would The Olympic torch for the China games would only make one US stop, and that would be San Francisco?

Why in the hell would you pick a city with one of hte largest Chinatowns in the country, and one filled full of activist hippies you KNOW will protest Tibet, something China doesn’t want discussed especially not in thier “time to shine”? I hope they weren’t surprised by the huge protest. Well hell, maybe they were, maybe they just don’t assume protests will happen like we do.

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To You and Yours:

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Something I dream about
is one day without beachballs!
Spin, lil' G4, spin.  

 

Yes, the old circa 1998 G4 400 mac is showing it's age. And it's not in the cards to replace it anytime soon. I dont think I can make THAT many pincushions. 

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I have bought some new slippers.
Now it feels as if
I am walking on the moon.

(I wasn’t intending to write that in haiku form, but once I had it down I realized it worked…

That is all.

Edit: Someone mentioned I messed up my haiku form… did 7-5-7 and it’s 5-7-5… so let’s do this again…

Bought some new slippers,
Feels like walking on the Moon,
Moonwalking is fun!

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Ouch, ouch, ouch, my god!
Pretty skin costs twenty bucks,
But damn I look good.

This shit works. Even the first time. Really works. I swear! I’m on my second box after stopping for awhile and man could I tell the difference before and after.

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Here kitty kitty!

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Klassy with a K

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Tostito’s Gold

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Oh, chips of the gods!
Crunchy corn ambrosia,
weaker chips tremble.

A simple Haiku can’t tell you how much I love these things, it’s just not normal to like tortillas without even any sauces or toppings as much as I like these. Absolutely great chips on their own.

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My iPod: 4 stars

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My albino pal.
But, no pink eyes. That is good.
Those are creepy, man.

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Low Acid Orange Juice

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Once, tummy said “No”!
I bitch slap her to say “yes”
Drink daily, ahhh!

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Eclipse Computer Light

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White light, tops my screen,
Not too bright, but yet I see!
Dark night, get back thee!

As a designer, most of the places I worked were dark little holes. Designers don’t like overhead lighting as a rule. Any design place you walk into is most likely to be mainly natural lighting because we can’t turn off the sun. Even then, those who can pull shades to bring back the dark probably will. Table lamps annoy or distract with all the light on one side and often glare a screen. Many just prefer the dark as much as possible to ensure a better picture and colors. I used to! But I’ve seen the light!

Most people snicker when I say how much I love my Computer Light. It’s a silly sounding concept, but I will let blood before I let someone take it away. It’s fabulous, and I really can’t work without it – day or night. It always has the RIGHT amount of light to do my entire desk and backlight the room a bit too and always gives perfect full-spectrum light for working. No other light does what it does the way it does it. Truly non-glaring, non-painful light for us nightime dwellers and dark seekers. If I had money to get everyone one, I would.

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Navy blue wonder,
Sturdy as a Sherman tank,
eye glows red, always.

I have two of these – one for the G4 PowerBook and the G4 tower. The laptop one I will truthfully attest that I drop it everyday about 3 feet to the floor without fail, and have for the last y. As of yet has not showed any sign of loss of functionality, or so much as rattle. My next mouse will be a Logitech optical too, you betcha!

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Hot Buttery Haiku

Popcorn, buttery and good,
Put it in, bell dings,
Keep your hand out of my bag.

Act II’s Butter Lovers is the end all be all of popcorn for me. I like it better than the stuff in the movie theatre. It’s everything popcorn should be – crunchy, salty, buttery and surely bad for you..mmmmm!

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Minty Fresh Addiction


Sinus-wrenching rush.
Magic mint with Napalm power.
No more puppy breath.

These Listerine Pocketpack Strips are kicking my ass, literally. They really do cl your passages like a bully with a snowball the size of a sofa.

I can’t feel the center of my tongue anymore, is that bad?

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A Haiku to Honey Nut Shredded Wheat

I LOVE Honey Nut Shredded Wheat. It’s a Passion. I don’t like ANY other form of shredded wheat (including the honey nut frosted from Kelloggs). Only the Post Honey Nut variety in ice cold milk – a heaping bowl at any hour. Let me profess my love aloud:

You are tasty, true.
And stay crispy in milk, too.
Tastes good, not like shoes.

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