I understand my purchase of shoes on your site has renewed your faith in me as a female of the species. Maybe you can tell my mother everything is okay.

I know my prior my purchases have mostly consisted of snowglobes, paddle punches, USB toys, and generally Hong Kong made techy stuff have left this previously in doubt. So excited were you by my seemingly first “grown woman” purchase that you have begun sending me  tons of fashion foreward suggestions. I must like shoes, right? I would surely like those Rip off Manolo’s. Or that handbag. Or those dresses.

However, the shoes I bought were Birkenstocks, the very antithesis of high fashion, and they are replacing one of my pairs ( yes I have more than one) that I’ve had for about 8 years.

See? Tim Gunn is fanning himself right now.

Carrie Bradshaw I ain’t, okay? Can we agree to disagree on your suggestions for me, or do I have to buy a power tool to balance it back out?

Thanks again for all the junk I’ve bought.

jen

Today we went to the a nearby burg, they were having their annual town wide garage sale, it was a madhouse with hundreds and hundreds of yards and parking lots filled with junk. But a few things stand out, and as a avid garage sale I thought I’d make a point to mention.

1: NO ONE WANTS YOUR CLOTHES.
Seriously? You think anyone is going to rifle through a table of your old shirts to see if they are their size? People who do like to buy used clothes like to go to Goodwill, etc where they get washed, hung, organized by size or type and are easy to search. And they usually have something in mind, and  your pile of  junk ain’t helping them find it. So: DONATE IT. Get it out of the way, hell get a tax write off for it. But forget putting it out at the garage sale. No one freaking wants it, and if they are like us, if we see  sale with tables of clothes, we move on. Normally we don’t even slow the car.

2: YOUR STUFF AIN’T WORTH WHAT YOU THINK
You aren’t in a retail business, so no need to slap those up to retail prices, garage sales are for bargains and to make a few bucks (notice I said FEW), make someone happy while keeping it out of a landfill. If it’s worth so much, freaking keep it.

3: IF IT IS BROKE, TRASH IT.
That toaster ain’t gonna fix it self and for $5 I can buy one on a Target clearance that does work. Unless it’s car no will buy it for parts. It’s trash, face it, embrace it. No one is going to buy it to recycle it either, unless it’s a large amount of scrap metal.

4: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BUY A FAT MARKER!
Don’t make signs with ball point pen, or a fine tip sharpie, because honey, no matter how many times you scribble over it it’s virtually invisible driving. Also, try to make sure your damned house number is on the sign! Arrows should at least be as big as  a adult hand, and be lines at least as wide as a finger, PLEASE! If you use a colored card stock for your sign stick with BLACK ink! White paper stick with red black and blue.  DON’T even TOUCH a highlighter! Get a nice old school chizel tip marker. Get a nice fumey one too, aside from being waterproof (summer rain happens) it’ll give you a nice buzz – bonus!

5: PUT A DATE AND TIME ON YOUR SIGN
I cant tell you how many times I’ve driven to a “moving sale” following a sign only to find out they already moved. And if you can find it in your heart to actually take it down when done you will be doing a service to everyone.

Thanks, had to get that out of my system.

I know it’s been almost a year, blame twitter. I’m going to try to post at least once a week now I swear!