There is a growing ugly trend on ebay a pal pointed me to. 

A  search for "ivylane" or "poppyst" reveals that ebayers seem to like to pay $500 to dress their she-spawn like Strawberry Shortcake's puke wrapped in bricabrak. There are hundreds of these if you know where to look, and the words above are just a taste, and some of these have dozens of bids.

The running theme is crazy patchwork yoke dresses with pants or bloomers with ruffled cuffs. So help me god.

 Miss Shortcake needs to sue for infringement.

This one is holding at $500. Not kidding.
And before you start hatin' this is the *best* one.

And in this one even she looks to be wondering who would pay $500 for this piece of crap

This one is only going for $300.

Make sure your little princess looks like dowdy Raggedy Ann your Grandma made with this $85 bargain: 

You ever see the skit on Mad TV with Dot the hyper 6 year old possibly retarded if not just weird girl who likes gloves and gum? I swear I think they stole this one off the show - and it's only $175!

Ever wanted your daughter to dress more like a color blind 1890's Parisian Can Can dancer with Bejing, Mexican and Cyndi Lauper influences? For mere $100 you'll get that wish. 

(This looks like my pal Dave's kid Grace, PLEASE tell me it's not!) 

Someone needs to start making this crap for etsy and make a mint.
But not me, I refuse to encourage people to dress their little girls this way.

I have an article in Gifts to Make - From the editors of Threads. It's out on shelves possibly at a bookstore periodical rack or by clicking the link above and ordering for like $6. I have an article and tutorials on making bottlecap pincushions.

Look in the middle column of this blog to pre-order the book I have 10 projects in… it's coming out in November.

Today is Mr Man's last day at work. I'm the breadwinner now on 20 hours a week freelance and pincushion money, which is more than you'd think was possible. Someone hire the man!  

So the AC went out Sunday. Making a grindy noise, fan stopped spinning. Probabaly not cheap, but it was almost 100 outside. Monday I called a huge local heating/cooling place that has BIG  ads on tv right now and made an appointment as they had the cheapest diagnosis visit fee. Took ten minutes to make the appointment because she kept getting my info wrong. I kept haveing to repeat everything and I'm baking alive and not really all that alert.

Two days pass, and they don't come. So I call when the were officially 30 minutes late to verify they had me scheduled.

I get the same chic I'd booked with, she says "Oh yeah they been tryin' to call you all day".

"Uh I've been here all day, and no one be callin' me. Did they-"

"Hold on a minute honey" and they come back 5 minutes later. "Yeah they been trying to call you, it wasn't working."

"Uh, did they dial 513 first? I'm in Middletown, Cincinnati folks have to dial 513 or it won't go through."

(Ignoring me) "We don't go up that far they said."

"What? I sat in a 90 degree house for two days for nothing? Why didn't you tell me this when I booked the appointment? I could have had someone in here by now! I work out of the house, damn it."

(disinterested) "Yeah, we don't go up that far."

I just hung up. If it had been 90 degrees today I would have driven down there to bitch slap her since I would have been able to get AC in the car to the car to do it.

I instead turned around and called a similarly named local-er place down the road — one that I realized I had meant to call anyway since they had been here before but had gotten the names mixed up when I googled. When I called the the first place I asked "I think I've had you guys over before, right?" the woman lied to me "oh yeah yeah." Freaking liar and incompetent.

Today at least was rainy and 70, instead of more of the stifling heat we've had all summer. 

The second place, the one I'd meant to call from the beginning is coming in the morning. About damn time.

Thompson Heating and Cooling you SUCK! 

I've been busy catching up with commission sales from my etsy store - who knew the world needed pincushions? Christ.

Been meaning to catch up and post more drivel, so here you go.

Mr Man is leaving his job of 12 years on Friday. SOMEONE HIRE HIM! Anyone?  A nicer guy and a better tech dude you will not find.

My brother FunkyBlue, and his wife uh… FunkyWife, found out the sex of FunkyFetus today. It's a boy! I've been sending him names that me and Mr Man have been concocting, thought I'd share our favorites.

Chewbacca Réne - Originally it was, Renee for a girl, but we think making it French makes it equally funny. This is our favorite. The kid might be called Chewie and gifted with Chewbacca figures yearly just for fun. Certainly will be taught to gurgle deeply at the word 'force' or 'kessel run'.

Ping - Mr Man loves this one, he's talking of calling the kid this anyway as well. We joked that if the kid asks why we call him Ping we say it's what his real parents named him before they were killed by wilderbeast. I aim to be the evil auntie.

Jasper Schlomo - He'll grow up to be the first newborn 90 year old Jewish jazz pianist.

We're also planning to talk to him only in Filipino curses that are sure to get him into a knife fight. Got to prepare the tyke for the future, just as soon as we learn them.

We so can't wait to babysit! 

I did an interview Tuesday with the Cincinnati Enquirer for an IKEA article to appear on the 29th featuring a picture of yours truly looking like an enormous blue and gold dork.

Yep, it's true. My days as an faceless enigma are over, I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Clive Owen as Robert Dudley in the new Elizabeth I sequel. Clive in Renaissance costume, and maybe in not so much at some point hopefully since Dudley was doing Queen Liz. 

Speaking of Clive, GO SEE SHOOT'EM UP! It was AWESOME, like a Tarantino without the cumbersome, uncomfortable dialog and general weirdness. Just general mayhem, blood, and totally unrealistic over the top kung-fu-movie inspired action and gun violence - with some humor thrown in. Great weekend show. We loved it. Woo! I  hear Clive is already talking sequel, which is fine by me, more please!

I can never have too much Clive. I fell for him when i saw the original BMW films online series he was the star of (youtube link to first movie, rest are in related column). How could you not be hot for that? dark, broody englishman - I've told you all it's my biggest weakness.

Instead of posting the day of the 9/11, I thought I'd post after it. Since 'after' is when everything happened. 

6 years ago today we regretfully woke up to a new world one short day after the incomprehensible act of violence that made the world so much smaller, and yet so dauntingly huge and alien at the same time. It wasn't an easy morning, we didn't rise with the bleary carelessness we had the day before, instead we staggered out of bed after a rough night of attempted sleep. 

6 years ago we were great nation. We were peaceful, and the world largely respected us for acts of our past. We had ethics and values and tried to uphold civil rights, we freed and liberated those held under by more calloused hands. When the attack happened they mourned our loss with us, many holding vigils in their capitols and town squares burning candles for a place most had only seen on tv. They held our hand, and held the other up vowing to help us avenge the despicable crime. We were comforted in knowing we were not alone, that our years of aiding the world might bring them to aid to us. 

And we waited for those many long months that turned into years, waiting for our leaders to avenge our loss. A collective breath turned into many, and we waited some more. Two years pass, and much of the rage with it. We thought they were being careful by not rushing to strike back. Oh how foolish we were.

6 years later we have nothing to show for any of it. We've betrayed those who were killed that day with a war that was aimed at the wrong target for reasons that we may never truly know. We've seen four times as many more of our people die in their name, and killed twenty times more of theirs, with nothing to show at the end of the day. We've let down all the peoples of the world. Those who had once looked up to us in our hour of grief with respect now looked on in horror as when we turned our mourning and wishes for a just retribution into a grasping, desperate act of blind revenge for someone's wrong reason. The guilty still walk unpunished, the venerated dead still lie unavenged. Our leaders flounder desperately, caught in their own web of lies. Most of us are still having trouble facing ourselves in the mirror.

6 years ago the United States I knew died. It didn't sleep, it didn't wander off into the desert to find itself after a bad breakup. It died without so much as a sigh after putting the noose around it's own neck.

The country I see now is not the country I grew up in, the country whose ideals my hippy parents pressed on me. My country did not torture like those we foughagainst, we were above the ways of tyrants and fiends. We did not lie, cheat or steal, we did not plunder, and we did not capitalize on the suffering of others, or our own - and yet my country, and it's leaders, have done all of these in the past few years and much more.

In 6 years we have undone what took over 200 to make. Sometimes I wonder if the rest of the world misses our old selves more than we do. I doubt we'll earn back what we've truly lost in my lifetime.  That's the saddest part of all this. We did far more damage to ourselves than any terrorist ever did.

This weeks list, originally uploaded by verybigjen.

Mr Man is hindering progress on the "studio". Still hasn't cleared his old desk, or moved the PC yet, argh. He doesn't want to do it himself, doesn't want ME to do it for him or start work while he's still IN here… we are essentially as a work stoppage on the room. ALL he has to do is move his monitor and computer and some junk from desk drawer! I had no idea this part of the process was a three week job.

To top it all off Kmart had the IDEAL cabinet for my felt storage problems/needs on sale for $69, and he wouldn't let me get it. Had a good sales burst on Etsy since Saturday so I went to get it tonight (damn it!). Only to find… Not on sale anymore! Now it's $99! I'm too cheap and ticked off to buy it now. Kill maim destroy. Drove all over town (small town not hard) to find someone with a similar thing to beat that new $99 price - no such luck. Driving to bigger Target soon, Middletown's is dinky.

Why is not IKEA here now????

In other news, and the reason for the Colbert pic: How good of a pal am I you might wonder? Well ponder now more. I'm freaking awesome friend, read on.

A few weeks ago someone from the Colbert Show writes me about a personal film project he wants to do and asks me for some contact info for a company I just happen to  be devoted to (you can guess who I bet) anyway I help him out then he says "Hey if you ever want tickets, let me know!" So I go, "ure, but I live in Ohio can I get them for a pal of mine in the area?" (he moved to Connecticut in spring) he said "ure!"

So.. time passes info changes emails with names and dates and today my friend gets an email with his info about his Colbert report VIP tickets. Skip the teeming hordes yearning to breathe Colbert Formula 401 - get in the VIP line, give your name and take a seat, etc…  he gets to go as a VIP to see Stephen Colbert in NYC and I'm stuck in Stinky Buttcrack OHIO! SO not fair!

He so owes me. I am deserving of a medal - and a pie.

(PS Shipbrook, your On Notice generator there does NOT give you the picture now even if you DO read the directions. I had to screen cap it.)

Something I dream about
is one day without beachballs!
Spin, lil' G4, spin.  

Yes, the old circa 1998 G4 400 mac is showing it's age. And it's not in the cards to replace it anytime soon. I dont think I can make THAT many pincushions. 

SO, the Man Cave has been done for over a week. Has he moved in yet? no He's moved some files but his desk is still covered with tools, and the computer is still in MY office. I can't do anything till he's out. ARGH! He got me all excited about this and now he's not leaving!

I have a chest and a box a size of the chest both filled with felt I want to organize, I have book cases ready to move in but I can't! He's being pokey as hell! Get outta my room!  If I talk about moving a book cae in he whines that I'm hassling him so I can't even CLEAR a book case off elsewhere in the house to prepare to move it. I can't move them myself as they extra tall and pretty hefty and there are a few steps to deal with. So I'm in a grand holding pattern.

I Just want to get my studio done, grump grump.