So tonight on the Freecycle list this message came over:

I have some home decor pictures that someone gave me at work but they aren’t my taste. If you would like these they are yours. Frame is a cherry wood I do believe with gold framing. If you are going to sell these, forget it! I know these are worth money but I would like someone to get them that will use them. I think there’s three pictures. I would like these gone cause they are in my living room now. No sob stories please. Again, these are just pictures.

Obviously someone who is as tired of the BS people try to feed you as I am! (I’ve posted some of the ridiculous posts before) I decided to give her something to laugh about, so I emailed her this:

The Lord told me my prayers for decoration would be answered! I had asked his gracious love for oak frames, but beggars can’t be choosers!

See, three years ago my baby died of spontaneous combustion SIDS (a genetic condition in my family) while asleep in his crib and burned down our trailer, which caught the propane tank out back, which took down the telephone pole that the whole trailer park stole our cable from. I lost everything I owned including my first edition Lynyrd Skynyrd 8-track tape collection! I don’t care what they say them CDs do not sound as good.

Anyway, this all happened during a thunderstorm so when I ran out of the fiery inferno to call for help I was struck by a bolt of lightening. When the police arrived they saw the burn marks on my bare feet and my smoldering hair and deduced I was an arsonist! No amount of convincing seems to work! Just because I have a conviction for arson when I burned down my baby daddy’s house don’t mean I set my own danged trailer on fire! That’s crazy!

Since I’ve been in prison my husband has taken up with my slutty sister, my father died, my momma started turning tricks again to make ends meet and my dog ran into traffic and was killed by the mailman.

As you can see, I could certainly use any spot of brightness I can get in my tiny grey jail cell!

Praise Jesus and God bless!

Wanda Dumple

(PS Are any of the pictures clowns? I like clowns!)

I’m hoping she gets the joke…