Hot Fuzz Kicked ass. Go see it NOW before Spiderman crushes it. Better than Shaun of the Dead and I LOVE that movie. Just great. Mr Man raved too and he rarely does that if it doesn’t have Hobbits in it. Lots of blood and explosions, so that’s probably why.

I learned something this week that is timely with the upcoming 400th Anniversary. Earthworms were extinct in the US before the arrival of the Jamestown colonists, who brought them in the soil of the plants they brought from England.

The pincushion-book-that-I’m-in’s cover is out.

And that new ipod is gonna come in handy on the trip! Woo! Nearly every ep of Robot Chicken on demand! Texas Holdem in Kentucky! Tetris through Tennesee! Bejeweled in the Smokies!

Think I’ll bring some crafty stuff to work on since it’s such a long trip and we’ll hae some dull night inthe hotels I’m sure since what we consider a good channel selection and what other people think is a good channel selection are not even close. DirecTv or death! And yes, I will miss the TiVo, possibly as much as the dogs. Okay… more.

I made the above items for the IKEA Welcome Basket I’m making up for the upcoming groundbreaking on May 8th. I’m posting it here rather than there so the intended recipient/s doesn’t see it since I know subscribes (and reads) the feed.

I know, you are giving IKEA a gift basket? Yeah yeah, I thought it would be funny, and it never hurts to suck up to a bazillion dollar company to whom you’ve been a bit of a troublesome, though amusing, problem.

Included in the basket with the above “toys”, handmade by yours truly, will be (since I had a bunch of “cafe cash” I made from sales burning a hole in my virtual wallet):
OHIKEA t-shirt and magnets
St Tokig of Almhült postcards and magnets. (I hear ole’ Tokig has made appearances in the offices at HQ “>since I made him up up last year on a lark as someone to pray to to make it happen.

Good thing is the magnets are way cheaper in bulk, 10 for the price of 3, so I’ll have a couple to keep and a few to give away to any readers or reporters I’ve talked to over the past couple years.

I’m also gonna make and include a nice big batch of homemade Buckeyes. Which for the ‘feriners is just the Ohio version of Reese’s Cups that look like our native inedible state nut/tree.

Any other suggestions, oh wise readers? So far it’s just a big ole’ basket of Jen-made stuff. That seems odd to me, but somehow suitable since I made the site too.

The good news is the groundbreaking is the week BEFORE Mr Man and I are planning to go to South Carolina on a rambling driving vacation. No bad timing like what happened in August when I was on another vacation. The other good news is every hotel we’re staying at has free hish speed internet so woo!!! I’ll be able to post and upload pics to flickr.

FunkyBlue can even post some of his crazy link finds if he wants.

Condoleezza Rice said Thursday she has already answered the questions she has been subpoenaed to answer before a congressional committee and suggested she is not inclined to comply with the order.

That wasn’t a request, lady. It’s a subpeona. You really don’t have a choice. But so typical of the Bush Admistration, rules and law that govern us all don’t apply to them.

What did she watch Pirates of the Carribean last weekend and hear Geoffrey Rush say “I’m Disinclined To Acquiesce To Your Request” and think that sounded brainy?

So tonight on the Freecycle list this message came over:

I have some home decor pictures that someone gave me at work but they aren’t my taste. If you would like these they are yours. Frame is a cherry wood I do believe with gold framing. If you are going to sell these, forget it! I know these are worth money but I would like someone to get them that will use them. I think there’s three pictures. I would like these gone cause they are in my living room now. No sob stories please. Again, these are just pictures.

Obviously someone who is as tired of the BS people try to feed you as I am! (I’ve posted some of the ridiculous posts before) I decided to give her something to laugh about, so I emailed her this:

The Lord told me my prayers for decoration would be answered! I had asked his gracious love for oak frames, but beggars can’t be choosers!

See, three years ago my baby died of spontaneous combustion SIDS (a genetic condition in my family) while asleep in his crib and burned down our trailer, which caught the propane tank out back, which took down the telephone pole that the whole trailer park stole our cable from. I lost everything I owned including my first edition Lynyrd Skynyrd 8-track tape collection! I don’t care what they say them CDs do not sound as good.

Anyway, this all happened during a thunderstorm so when I ran out of the fiery inferno to call for help I was struck by a bolt of lightening. When the police arrived they saw the burn marks on my bare feet and my smoldering hair and deduced I was an arsonist! No amount of convincing seems to work! Just because I have a conviction for arson when I burned down my baby daddy’s house don’t mean I set my own danged trailer on fire! That’s crazy!

Since I’ve been in prison my husband has taken up with my slutty sister, my father died, my momma started turning tricks again to make ends meet and my dog ran into traffic and was killed by the mailman.

As you can see, I could certainly use any spot of brightness I can get in my tiny grey jail cell!

Praise Jesus and God bless!

Wanda Dumple

(PS Are any of the pictures clowns? I like clowns!)

I’m hoping she gets the joke…

Make The Logo bigger! - a rocking MP3 anthem suitable for every designer’s ipod.

Kick. Ass. :tup:

Alanis Morrisette covers the Black Eyed Peas “My Humps” and turns it into a tragic ballad. Irony my friends irony, abounds.

Ikea instructions for making Dick in the Box (kottke.org)

I think he missed the boat since IKEA only uses one word product names they should have called it “DIKBØX”

Oh and be sure to read this post I just put up on OHIKEA…

Bone chilling tale of woe! The horror of blimps!!!1!

Mr Man sent me this as a suggestion as a place to visit with a possible upcoming sightseeing and gen hunting trip to the Carolinas… Dismal Swamp!. It’s far less dismal than I was lead to believe. Damn.

Saw “Ghost Rider” the other day, it was decent! I totally didn’t mind Nick Cage other than he was at least 10 years older than he should have been according to the age of the lead actress and the plotline. But the movie, did not in fact suck hard.

more later!

I know I’ve posted this before, but what the hell, now there’s a musical tribute.

I’m like one exit from this thing. Locals call is Quicksand Jesus, Touchdown Jesus, Butter Jesus is making the circuit now thanks to the song in the video below which is featured often on the Bob and Tom Show which is nationally syndicated.
I’d like to see “Cylon Jesus” take off, since he’s busting out of a contained body of water, but you have to be a BSG nerd to get it.

This statue has been a constant eyesore since it was being built. He’s had two heads since the first one was constructed to the wrong scale and was too small, it still is, look at the size of those hands. It should lt be noted the damned cross is a constant problem. It used to hang into the water, well that was a bad idea, so patched it and they cut it above the water line. It’s sagged int he middle. When you pass by now the whole bottom of the cross is breaking off. HA! Nice $600,000 there bozos.

And here is the song dedicated to the statue sung by the writer, Comedian Heywood Banks. Our hero.

I have been a little crafting fool since Wednesday.

I was finally assigned an editor for my Threads Magazine article on my little bottlecap pincushions. She say they have a photoshoot this Wednesday and could I get some out in the mail. I say sure, if i work all weekend, as I have given out most of what i have or they are out for the book still. She says great! I say great!

I work like a slave all weekend, a half dozen of this, a four pack of that, a few of this, a few of that, lots of singles (see my flickr pics to the right). I was up till 4am thurs, for and saturday, and pulled an all nighter last night. I didn’t hit the bed until 9am, and only then for a couple hours. I even took my stuff with me to my MIL’s house to work on while I was there.

The editor calls again today, I tell her they are going out fedex momentarily with the given account number and she should see them tommorrow. She hen says something akin to “Oh well, not a big deal we have another shoot next week too.”

Aroo? “You do?”

“Oh yeah, we have them once a month.”

“Oh really…” In my brain I’m cussing, really foul stuff. I went without dinner, I skipped breakfast. I’m aft girl and I skipped food! I didn’t nap all weekend - I LOVE NAPS! LOVE THEM! I could have had a week and a half to get them out instead of three days? :doh:

I’m so tired my tinnitus is way louder than normal and I have to turn up the TV a few more bars to hear it.

Speaking of TV, our believed TiVo (whom we worship in a way that is surely unholy by any law od nature) has gone insane… out of the blue and he thinks we’re religious black country music loving gay teenagers.

When I came home from shopping (and spending too much money at JoAnn’s on felt when by god I didn’t need more) he had both receivers recording. One was recording “The Coyote Ugly” whatever reality contest on CMT - an channel I never watch. The other was recording some show on MTV2 that was basically cruising around hollywood with rappers. WTF? I look on the suggestions list and there are at least 8 programs it recorded that totally make no sense, since our tivo knows us so well it’s scary.

Some show on Logo, religious channel program, a kids cartoon, a Felicity episode and even more junk I can barely remember - just a complete random mishmash of crap we would never watch, have never seen or want to see. And worse, stuff TiVo has never recorded before. It’s as if TiVo suddenly got Alzheimer’s and got trigger happy.

We had a software upgrade download the other day, I wonder if that might be behind it.

Other than lack of sleep the only thing worth reporting is I found a kick ass art history nerd book at Half Price books, and clipped one of my toenails into the quick. The sensation of it is driving me nuts.

Proof the American legal system is hopelessly flawed.

Bush buddy Diebold sues because Massachusetts DIDN’T buy their machines. And they want the ones they DID buy disabled and them forced to buy Diebold machines instead. Yeah, that’ll happen.

I guess I could sue the guy who never asked me out in high school. The employer who never hired me. The person on ebay who didn’t bid on my item.

I hope the judge fines them something massive for filing a frivolous lawsuit. Of all the nerve. I’m just shaking my head here. Diebold is local, as an Ohioan I’m ashamed we have a business with such a sense of entitlement.

Just infuriates me that you can sue for NOT being someone’s customer. These guys have platnium balls the size of GW’s ego.

So does anyone else feel the trailers for the “Vacancy” movie show too much? I mean hell it’s like I’m seeing the whole movie for free. We see how they get there, how they check in, how they hate the place, the room, the camera, the fight , the chase, the attempts at escape… yawnnnn. Why not roll credits too?

Sing it loud, sing it proud… I'm going straight to hell and I need the company!
(Disclaimer: It's been a long day)

TiVo loves me this I know,
For the red light tells me so.
Many shows for him to store,
They are long, but he records.

Yes, TiVo loves me!
Yes, TiVo loves me!
Yes, TiVo loves me!
The Red Light tells me so.

I love him and he loves me back,
'tho my shows are very whack,
Aliens, Sasquatch, and Daily Show,
And so many more all on his own!

Yes, TiVo loves me!
Yes, TiVo loves me!
Yes, TiVo loves me!
The Red Light tells me so.

BBC: Guitarist splits from DuranDuran

First: AGAIN??? What a freakin' loser. He left on the tail of their biggest fame back in 1985, and now after the amazing success of the reunion tour he does it again? I thought he was a stinking weasel then, and that goes double now. Go to hell you sodding mangy rat.

Second: no one freaking told me after this many months??? I can't believe it. I found it in a totally unrelated google search. I used to be up on all the news but obviously I'm hideously old now and out of touch. Whimper.

I'm a big one for unsolved mysteries, the Zodiac Killer, Bermuda Triangle, Amelia Earhart… I just found this article: Was Amelia Earhart a doomed castaway? and I'm facinated. There was alot of evidence that was just outright ignored.

Again, I think fingers can be pointed at the US Government not only dropping the glove, but forgetting they HAD a pair of gloves to begin with. Ah, how some things never change.

This administration deny they even have fingers, so they just have other people wear gloves for them.

Okay so I have like the 10 stinking months to see if I'm right, but I have a theory. If you haven't seen the last episode of Season three, go no further. I'm telling ya. 

So here's guesstimation. 

Chief Tyrol will be the first outed as a cylon. Confused and desperate he will seek the one cylon he trusts. He will ask Sharon/Athena to meet with him in some far off area and meander to the point. She'll think he's nuts, but will believe him finally. But of course can't tell him anything, because she has no idea about any of it. Just some legend so or something. She will be troubled by the news and soon will tell Helo. Then after that, one or both of them will turn Tyrol in as a cylon. (Ironic if she does it, predictable if he does it since he's such a wussy). 

Now, I predict they will go to either Admiral Adama or Tigh (Again the irony! Ahhh!) and the Chief being an honest man still a little shell shocked that Sharon turned him in, admits it and is promptly thrown into the brig after much soul searching and chest beating of the staff. Chief will be in there a very long time, unwilling to reveal the other cylons he knows of. (Irony abounds!) Of course Kallie will be a mess, what's frakkin' new.

The other secret cylons (two of which just happened to be the other backbones of the New Caprican resistance with Tyrol) will finally reveal themselves, of course Tigh's revelation will practically cause an implosion within the fleet becasue if he can be one, anyone can. Maybe they even help break Tyrol out for safe passage to a Basestar before they admit it.

Oh and Kara is the 5th final secret Cylon, but you probably guessed that. I think her "resurrection" triggered something and caused the music to "flip the switch".

Tell me that's not kick ass and sensible? Go on I dare you!