When you hit thirty suddenly napping dominates a portion of your brain. How you want one, need one, just woke up from one, just laying down to take one… you start planning your weekends about them.

Right now it’s a 65 degrees and lightly rainy - remarkably wonderful weather for the time of year - and all I’m thinking about is taking a nap. Yesterday it was sunny and 70 and I wanted a nap so bad I dozed off waiting on hold on the phone.

Things I’ve found that are nap inducing:
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner
Sunny
Partly cloudy
Rain
Thunder
Lightning
Snow
Rain of Locusts
After work
After waking up
The 70 degree perfect day
The coldest miserable -7 degree day
Too sunny
Too dark
Too warm
Too cold
Surfing the Net
YouTube
On the phone on hold
On the phone talking
Riding in the car
Driving the car
Shopping
Cooking
At the office
Under the desk managing computer cables
In the shower
Petting the dog
Cuddling the cat
On the toilet
Sitting down
Laying down
Standing up
Walking
Breathing
Blogging

Wow.

Will It Blend?

I want to see lightbulbs and maple syrup…

I’ll ignore the fact that (whoever that rapper is) rhymes “hood” with “hood” three times in a row (a real Chaucer ain’t he?) but who in the heck is “Dave Champipple?”

Survey says… Dave Chappelle

Wow. And he twisted that name to kinda rhyme it with “Mistle” with no “toe”.

I take back everything I’ve said about rap - it’s creative as heck.

WLWT: Thursday’s Bengals Game Moves Thurday NBC Lineup

Wow Bengals versus the Ravens… two teams that can get beaten by a PeeWee hockey squad.

Oh, Yeah prime viewing there… morons.

And Ken Broo, you addle minded sports dork, there are more than ” a lousy million” satellite television users as you claimed on the radio today.

/rant

Today Mr Man attempted to fix our kitchen sink sprayer (which has been tied up in a bread bag for two weeks) which sprung a leak that hosed everything down whenever the water was on.

He was still fighting it when his friend came over. He pitched in and the next thing I know he’s suggesting we just buy a new faucet since ours was largely crap and came with the house 10 years ago.

Mr Man agreed and I got giddy with excitement. I’ve asked for years but Mr Man’s hate of plumbing ended any discussion.

Now I have a new faucet that finally is tall enough to get a big pot under! Even if there is something IN the sink - OMFG! Oh the joy!

Oh oh. I think I wet’em.

Went well, but something odd happened as we went to leave.

I couldn’t find my keys. I remembered that when i came in I dropped them on the table, but hadn’t seen them since.

Mrs Mom and Mr Bro help me out. We turned the house upside down, looked in places I hadn’t even been - even looked in the refrigerator. Nowhere to be found. The fourth trip out to the car, where Mr man was being grumpy and generally unhelpful since he wanted to go, I had a mental flash of my brother in laws’ shoes for some damn reason.

I turn on a dime and go back in. As soon as I’m in the door I ask Mrs Mom if Mr. Bro (who’s moved back in to help her out) keeps his keys in his shoes. She looked at me like I was smoking crack. I walked to the shoes that were near, but not next to, the dining room table… I don’t see my keys.

Until I tip them and they slide out of the toe of the left one. The TOE.

Should I mention Mr Dad, who died in June, was a funny ornery dude and liked to pester me?

Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too.

This will only make sense to those in the Cinci area: I MET JUNGLE JIM.

It’s true. I did. I thought after shopping there for almost 8 years and never spotting The Man that perhaps he was a figment of the imagination, a hired Italian spokesmodel, or even perhaps a Pixar creation… but no, I saw him. And he has a Segway he toodles around the store on. (For those not local - Jungle Jim’s store is uhmmmm over six acres of Foodie Heaven.) I used the opportunity to grovel for the creative opening they have and generally worship him properly.

We went to build xmas basket for the inlaws, and also loaded up on the essentials - dumpling sauce, Dutch Windmill cookies that are heavenly spiced goodness, some indian cooking sauces, German Ice Wine, Dunkle Beer, and brandy filled chocolate “beans”. Yup, essentials. Really.

I had a bad head cold a couple weeks ago bad enough to lay me out flat for nearly a week, but I’m still having a hard time with the leftover head crap. Went to the doc, had xrays, lungs were clear (that’s a first anymore) but the sinuses were jammed (no surprises on that one) and I’ve already finished the Zithromax course of six pills over a week ago, but it’s still left over in my sinuses. That junk is still making me cough more than a few times a day. It’s enough to make me head back to the doctor this week. Grr.

Getting a hair cut tomorrow, first one in a year. I’m lucky to have found someone in the area who is good with curly hair, I need to go more not less. It’s gotten to a point no amount of leave in goodness helps at all. I’m a horrible girl, I should have been born a dude.

Sophie the Stupid AKA the not so smart cat is snoring again. I keep trying to get it on video to slap up on youtube, but no such luck so far. She keeps waking up before I can get the camera positioned . Then I have to wait for her to fall back to sleep, to no avail since she’s shifted and no longer makes the noise. Calicos - nothing but trouble.

And last but not least - You lousy snake snorkeling bastards!
No one - NO ONE - told me THIS was airing on TBS tonight and only ONCE! ONCE! Guess when I found out it was on? Halfway through!!! Argggg!!! Since when does ANYTHING appear on TBS once??? They usually repeat things to death. This was incredibly funny. Old Jim would have loved this, and his son Brian was right in the middle of puppet pack.

If you are a Henson fan you know Jim never intended his puppets to be solely for kids, that’s why they are still so stinking funny to adults. Kids were secondary. Anything can be funny to kids. Half the stuff those puppets said as throw away lines were never meant for them.

YouTube has a clip from ComicCon and Word is they ordered 30 episodes for some network that doesn’t exist yet… Oh I’m sooooo excited now. The world needs muppets now more than ever, dang it.

I’ve tipped Tivo off to record it if it comes on again… if I spot it before it airs again I’ll let you know.

See that’s why I’m better than you. ;PPPPP I’m a good muppet nieghbor.

from michael_hughes

He takes souvenirs and uses them to obscure the real object. Really fun Idea i’ll have to steal.

Ok people, which site do you spend more time on - Flickr or YouTube? Myself I’d have to say Flickr.

Up to my eyeballs in deadlines right now, argh. Clients and pincushions book stuff.

Has everyone seen those godawful Intel Core Duo commericals with the scary ugly New Yorkers dancing? (and yea, I can tell they are east coast see #2).

First, anyone doing that kind of solo body dancing looks like a massive egotist and more than a little bit of a retard.

Second : Ug, bad hair, stupid hats and ugly clothes. Street culture sucks for fashion sense.

Third: It’s not an ipod ad morons, why are they dancing exactly? You can show people multiplying themselves without the epileptic seizures and one man dance parties.

Fourth: The guy in the dorky green sweater has some of the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Yowsers.

I’ve declared my love for Greasemonkey before, if you have firefox, get it to make many sites even better with aadd on scripts like for Flickr!

The many Flickr Greasemonkey scripts… oh yeahhhhhh baby… I like this one!

And not related to flickr at all, but everyone should install greasemonkey just for this - the best script evar!!!

DirecTV Tivo Remote control tricks - ching!

—
And before you get too into that new show… here’s the scoop:

Fall 2006: Freshman Series Update

ABC:
-The Knights of Prosperity: expected to debut in January
-Big Day (Tues. 9 p.m.): premiering on Nov. 28
-Help Me Help You (Tues. 9:30 p.m.): four more scripts ordered
-The Nine (Wed. 9 p.m.): four more scripts ordered
-Ugly Betty (Thurs. 8 p.m.): full season renewal
-Six Degrees (Thurs. 10 p.m.): on hiatus; expected to return in a new time period in January
-Men in Trees (Fri. 9 p.m.): full season renewal; moving to Thursday at 10 p.m. on Nov. 30

CBS:
-The Class (Mon. 8:30 p.m.): on the fence
-Smith (Tues. 10 p.m.): canceled
-Jericho (Wed. 8 p.m.): full season renewal; heading to hiatus until February.
-Shark (Thurs. 10 p.m.): full season renewal

NBC
-Heroes (Mon. 9 p.m.): full season renewal
-Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (Mon. 10 p.m.): full season renewal
-Friday Night Lights (Tues. 8 p.m.): four more scripts ordered
-30 Rock (Wed. 8 p.m.): moving to Thursday at 9:30 p.m. on Nov. 30
-20 Good Years (Wed. 8:30 p.m.): canceled
-Kidnapped (Sat. 8 p.m.): canceled and shipped to the web for the final episodes

Fox
-Vanished (Mon 8 p.m.): waiting for the axe to swing
-Standoff (Tues. 8 p.m.): waiting for the axe to swing
-Justice (Wed. 9 p.m.): canceled
-’Til Death (Thurs. 8 p.m.): waiting for the axe to swing
-Happy Hour (Thurs. 8:30 p.m.): canceled

CW:
-The Game (Mon. 9:30 p.m.): full season renewal
-Runaway (Sun. 9 p.m.): canceled

—

A few of the shows I’ve been watching are onthe list… My mom is into Men in Trees, but it moving opposite ER will kill it, at least for her… but most likely for good.

Took one of the dogs to the pet store to buy food, it’s her favorite thing to do. While there picking out a big bag of dog treats a black boy about 12 walks up and asks what kind of dog she is. (she’s a mutt, all my dogs are.)

I’m a bit tongue tied at first, because my eyes are focused on… his muff. Swear to god he was wearing a camouflage green muff with black fake fur inside on a string around his neck and both hands tucked inside too. He wasn’t wearing a coat. It was a but rainy outside but not cold enough to require a muff, and certainly not indoors.

In case you forget what a muff is:

(btw, I’ll have you know I suffered visual torment google image searching for the word “muff” to find this pic.)

I finally got my tongue in gear and informed him my dog was a mutt. He was befuddled.

“Mutt?”

“That means all kinds of breeds mixed up.” I informed him.

Of course this is what I wanted to say: ‘I’m not surprised you don’t know what a mutt is when you are wearing something that’s usually only worn by little girls in pig tails or 18th century English young ladies secretly in love with their Headmasters.”

WTF? Did I miss some rapper wearing this on some music video? And the Camo angle was certainly different. If this is a new trend I’m gonna get put in jail for laughing and causing a riot in public.

Also spotted at the store: a middle aged gay couple with a little hand held type of furball dog buying all the first doggies needs - stylish kennel, french country elevated dog dishes and a little jaunty outfit. They were trying to stay away from Maggie I could tell. She’s very intimidating looking with her 70 pounds of black fur. Truth is their new little dust mop dog could have taken her in a fight, she’s a absolute wuss.

Letting kids sell refrigerated goods for band.

A few months ago we bought some stuff off a local kid for a band fundraiser. The Man picked it out, I was otherwise occupied. They said they’d take money on delivery, that’s usually how it works. Well the kid came back and got the money ($30, we bought two things) back on September 15th saying he’d be back the next day. Well no sign of the twerp till today.

So he shows up with his cute as a button little sister and asks us what he bought since his brother lost the list (go figure). He seems like a nice kid though. I said something about it being time, we expected him to come back weeks ago, he said something about forgetting about October. I didn’t pay much attention as well it’s candy right? It’s not I find out. I look at what he has left in the backpack and remember then Mr Man picking dark chocolate cookies and raspberry bars. I take the boxes, they are certainly baked cookies and bars in cellophane like Little Debbies. Right?

As I walk into the kitchen I notice they are marked to keep refrigerated. Oh oh. I slice open the (actually very nicely high end white boxed) sticker seal and open the raspberry bars to see… a cellophane wrapped tin foil pan of thick green mold. Ewww. Well, I guess they weren’t kept refrigerated.

The cookies I then notice aren’t cookies, but wrapped balls of cookie DOUGH, ready to bake. They look okay no mold but damned If I’ll try them now. There’s a 1800 number on the boxed with a guarantee, torn on whether to call or not. I have no idea who the kid was or what school he was from in the area.

Let me just say the pungency of green mold maks me wonder if I just got a big airy shot of penicillin. I’m already on antibiotics for this head cold, whats a little more?

I have bought some new slippers.
Now it feels as if
I am walking on the moon.

(I wasn’t intending to write that in haiku form, but once I had it down I realized it worked…

That is all.

Edit: Someone mentioned I messed up my haiku form… did 7-5-7 and it’s 5-7-5… so let’s do this again…

Bought some new slippers,
Feels like walking on the Moon,
Moonwalking is fun!

Life as a dog owner… it’s more exciting than you think.

I just got back from letting them in. Patches ignored me laying on the ground with her back to me appearing to be chewing on something. Seeing a suspicious tuft of off-colored fur by her feet I barked at her to get inside. When she ran for the door I got to see what she was working on. The bottom half of a squirrel. As she ran in I swear she was smiling. It was payback, those furry rats just torment my dogs to no end, they really seem to enjoy baiting them. (squirrel extreme sports)

Maggie was now all excited the squirrel was now free game and I cut her off in her tracks and with a stare I had her running inside. She’s my girl, smart as a whip. She knows me well enough that if I use THE VOICE she best get her ass inside double time. Usually if I dont do it strong enough and she wants to stay out and play she’ll run away like I’m chasing her for fun.

Having successfully herded the dogs inside, I went into the kitchen and grabbed my stainless steel tongs and the empty kitty litter tub and disposed of the demi-squirrel. Ewwwwwwww!!

Maggie was all excited when I got back in, and making some burpy noises (she’s got a bit of a sensitive stomach) so scooted her back out to throw the squirrel up hopefully. I’d hate to have to clean that up in the house if she did it in here. Shudder….gah.

This isn’t the first dead critter. We find mauled birds often enough. They killed a Possum (or it fell and they just beat it up tossing it like a toy - like mags does- because it wasn’t bloody at all) a few months back. A couple years ago we found half of a HUGE garder snake. It was about 2″ thick and the half we had was about 3′ long… They’ve cornered more than a few toads too before we manged to get them to safety. (they were just barking at the funny looking thing and thought the way it jumped was funny, you could tell).

Half a squirrel, I hope thats the last I see of that.

My happy news: Ken Blackwell has conceded the Ohio Governor’s race! More than 20% behind Strickland… think people REALLY don’t like Blackwell? HAHAHAH!

Everything is looking blue! 3 more seats to control the senate! Still more time to go!

Cashing this has been less than easy. The place we bought it ran it through to validate it, but had no forms I found out after calling to find out how to cash it and being told I needed one. No place in town selling tickets HAD forms. One of them called and found a place, 10 miles away. So I went there, but they couldn’t fill it out for me. The place that had given me the pay receipt had to since they processed it. I went BACK home, and into to the bank as planned, and took it to the place I bought it. The girls didn’t know who to fill it out, so I have to go back today to get this all done, argh. THEN I have to drive to Cincinnati to cash it, since no place here does it.

Grrr. and do i get any of this? Noooo… it’s the Man’s.

and he pulls out the attractive daughter card! Oh! So unexpected!

His daughter talks about how super her dad is, how he came from nothing, etc… All Kenny does is smile.

I watch a lot of documentaries and I’ve always heard snakes couldn’t do that, amazing.

No attacks this time on Strickland, frankly I think they’ve run out of ideas on what to lie about next. It’s all about damage control now. His attack ads are getting the opposite effect he wanted, and he’s learning people don’t like him, a lot. This is the first ad of him looking like a human and not some stuffed suit spewing vemon, featuring a person genetically bound to like him.

Just going to his website to get that link makes me want to take a shower.

What I think is more telling is that the video on YouTube has had comments and ratings disabled. Nice.