…that I gave everyone, that one that was a 404 the other day, that I said was a must see, Dear God Damn Diary is offering it for a short time, so, go get it.

Celebrity Phobias.

Billy Bob Thornton is one messed up man.

And never has a finer ode been written – here’s a small part.

It’s hilarious, and an apt tribute. Go read it.

I’ve always had a abnormal appreciation for the Weekly World News myself. Every few weeks I always end up buying one just to give them a dollar for making me laugh out loud at the checkout and look like a lunitic. Yes, it’s true – I (heart) BatBoy.

See, what I liked about the WWN is, no one gets hurt.

They don’t hire buttheads to crouch in alleyways to get a picture of the hot celebrity of the moment coming out of her Doctor’s office or going into cozy restaurant. They don’t prey on anyone’s private life. They never killed a Princess, or made a baby cry. They never slander anyone who ever actually existed. And if a celebrity dies, well their afterlife is certainly MUCH more interesting that their actual life ever could have been.

They are non-fictional fiction parodists. They just make just up, write it as news. And that’s a beautiful thing to me. It’s almost honorable.

I always imagine them at a large chipped up circular table in a room that smells like cigarette butts with cases of empty Old Milwaukee bottles tossed around, while two sweaty fat guys arm wrestle over who gets the by-line on a story named “atan seen driving Winnebago”.

The crazier it is the more we like it. Hire a few very skilled photoshop artists and Voila!, you have Elvis returning from the dead with Jesus, or illicit pictures of gay-lovers Saddam and Osama bin Laden dancing in tutus or getting married. (not kidding that’s a real one), and in a perverse way, that’s a beautiful thing. It’s the WWE of tabloids. You know it’s so obviously made up it should be printed in 6 screened colors so it qualifies as a comic book – but you just don’t care.

And that’s why they get at least $10 a year out of me, and probably will for years to come. I usually never even read it for more than 30 seconds, it’s the covers that are worth every dime. No road trip is complete with out the WWN from a gas station and the half a minute of fun it provides.

When I die, I want the WWN to write me a obituary so outrageous, so ludicrous I’d be proud to have it carved into my headstone. The sky’s the limit, go nuts, just fit a monkey in the scenario some how. That’s *my* last wish.

On behalf of the non-HBO subscribers of America and the World…

THANK GOD IT’ OVER!

I am so sick and tired of hearing about this show of metrosnobs deluxe with their 2-bit shallow lives of shopping for $400 shoes, eating $50 lunches and whoring at every opportunity on every single entertainment broadcast.

Thank you.

Great Anti-Bush ads.

The 26 finalists can be seen here

Dave posted his sad little paltry list of states he’s been to from this site.

To show him up, here’s mine.

Any state you’ve: a) slept in, b) eaten in, or c) taken a dump in counts for “visited” in my book.

I went to California by Bus from ohio once, that explains the long line of states westward.

If you don’t count 16 hours on bus driving through the middle of Kansas as “visited” do it and see if you feel differently afterwards. You’ll “feel” as if you’ve done time in jail.

Yanowhatimean.com asks what Top 10 Brands I’m Loyal to: (so what if I’m late…

Thanks to the free online Fontifier…

I converted it for PC and Mac (both in TT and T1).
I’m sure you’re all thrilled.

Now, go, write threatening letters to the government in my handwriting.

Go make your own!

Take Mr Stickman here…

And in Photoshop dress him up, put in in a picture, anything you want to do. Just DO something with him.

Send the finished graphic into me, or link it in the comments by February 5. I’ll have a little prize for the winner. (“little” might or might not equal fun, nice, desirable, or valuable)

Date’s Google Search Nabs Ohio Fugitive

Snakes is a quicktime animation short inspired by one of MC Escher’s woodcuts.

The server is being pounded right now, start it loading, come back to it later. But do watch it. Wow.

The reverse Peppy Le Peaux thing ain’t working for ya, honey. When I saw it styled up tonight it looked like a giant upside down comma on a white page.

Pay attention:
Shock of white in black hair dead center in front = distinguished and striking
Shock of black in white hair dead center in front = freakish and frighting

I wonder if Jay’s family will ever out him for bad hair

Russian Roulette Toy Gun game for kids – no, not kidding.

Why not buy your sweetie the ultimate gift of your love, the Flatulence Deodorizer.

How do you suggest you say you care? Candy? HA!

Prep for your virgin IKEA trip with us next weekend… IKEA as a video game. Call it a cheat guide. I know it’s the only thing you’ll understand, oh my brother the lanmaster.

Pepsi ads wink at music downloading:

Annie Leith, a 14-year-old from Staten Island, appears with other downloaders in the ad, which features music by Green Day… In the ad, Leith holds a Pepsi and proclaims: “We are still going to download music for free off the Internet.”

I don’t know why they are showing the episodes so completely and obviously out of order.

Of course Fox didn’t exactly show them in order either. (also tells which eps were unaired… which was more than I thought!)

If you don’t watch it – or never seen it – no need to go on reading the following…

Great article about Captain Kangaroo’s passing.

Wish people could have said this when he was around to hear it.

Spams are coming with these random words tossed together recently.

In a spam today, came this. I added the commas.

Earls Bierce pagan outlive snares scrambled buried drowned,

Bunts silliness oceans Siberia queerest fliers disjunct quicker,

Muong branching dwindled snobbish unmodified abduction dispersed dahlia,

Osborne criticize reorder wakeup unknown moneyed temples raptly.

For folks with my problem: The extra or replacement G4 Sawtooth video card not working in Panther.

Found just stumbling around the net…