As I commented in my previous post, the costumes to come to my door this year were disappointing yet again.

but then we’ve always gone all out for halloween in my family in the past.

A few years ago I went to a SCA costume partya few years back as MiMi from Drew Carey.

Other than having her figure down to a T by nature I donned a blonde wig, a tub of blue glitter eyeshdow paste, baby pink lipstick, so much blush I thought I’d suffocate and LONG glitter eyelashes. I sewed a ugly-as-hell ™ shirt from this fabulously awful and perfect “urfing troll doll” fabric (kid you not!) I found at the store for $1.00 a yard (and rightly so). I added white puff-ball trim aroudn all the seams with strips of sequins - time 20 minutes, nothing fancy. I won scariest costume!

In design school I really went all out. Went and found some of that colored corrgated paper (like cardboard, but only ONE flat side, and one ridged side) at a teacher supply store (remember your teacher used that stuff to make those bulletin boards?) and some large sheets of cardboard.

I cut huge circles out of the carboard, put it all together with duct tape and spray painted it white making a grecian column out of it as wide as my butt and taller than my waist. Mr Man (then Boyfriend Man) doubted me, said it would never hold. But it did. It freaking rocked.

I doned a swath of white fabric over a tank top (I wore from the waist down) and another around my waist and did my hair up in a grecian style. I put one arm in front and one arm behind me out of sight.

Yup, I went as a classical Greek statuary bust. I looked fabulous.

I spent a week on that costume, and it was a engineering undertaking. I had just enough room to walk like a geisha girl but could not sit. I had to take off the column to work at my desk, but that was a pretty easy easy thing to do I left a slit in the back.

How did I place? Second. I lost to a skinny rich bitch with no visable pantyline in a skin tight black leotard dressed as a “kitty kat”. Kid you not. I was so mad I wanted to spit.

I remember when people put EFFORT into costumes! Man, it’s depressing to be old.