I just was sitting here watching CNN talking about some stupid “Obesity bill” in DC, and I realized exactly HOW I would go to jail someday.

For beating the crap out of some news photographer for shooting pictures of me from behind at the store or out shopping for some anonymous footage of anonymous fat asses in public to go with some news story on how fat is unhealthy or should be illegal.

I might not find out till afterwards when I would see it on TV, but you can be damn sure I’d still have my say with some sort of random violence.

Yup, jail bird for sure eventually.

PCWorld.com says: Sick of Blue Screens? Get a Mac!

Bill Hemmer I think is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen on CNN, and alas!, he was local to me once! He went to school at Miami University which is in my county and worked on air in Cincinnati before I was inthe local viewing area. For shame, I missed him until now.

Just goes to show, Ohio is everywhere and we will eventually rule the world.

I’ll be gone August 10-17. Don’t expect to see me that week on here. I will be camping medievally for my yly pilgrimage to (Pittsburgh) Butler, PA. with 12,000 of my closest friends for a massive medievalist “convention”. No, I’m not kidding.

Wanna sneak peek to my secret life?
VERY BIG Arial shot of *not even* half the event. There are as many camping in the trees and not, and the site extends past the bounds of the picture about as much as you see. I think the entire events is about 3-4 square miles.

GREAT page with still event pictures and video clips of the sword fighting.

It’s hot during the day, freezing cold at night, camping out in costume 24/7, usually get at least one near torando or camp destroying thunderstorm. It’s really hard to explain the appeal unless you’ve done it. And, well the shopping is… spectacular There is about 10 acres of shopping spread around.

The best part is, unlike you local schlock ren faires (who we are not anwyay), our events do not allow tourists/sightseers/gawkers period, costme is always required. This event is dubly protected from lookie loos as there is no day admission fee, you pay $70 for a week or you don’t get in. It really cuts down onthe families looking for entertainment. Besides, grandma would certainly be offended at some of the parties and certain traditional japanese fertility parades. (Yes, they are carrying what you are proabaly thinking they are.)

Hopefully Dave will show his head from his vacation on the OTHER side of PA, they dont even electricity in the group camps, jusy the shops do. They are putting in a “discrete internet cafe” I might see how much it would cost to use, but money is tight this y, so prolly not. But expect pictures and maybe a movie or two.

I have also asked my younger brother over to post, he goes by the name “FunkyBlue” online, though we all just call him “Chris the toy mangler”. He’s a BIG old who posts over at UltimateChaos.com (As FunkyBlue of course).

He’s promsied to try, if you’re lucky he’ll tell you all about life growing up with me, of course it wil all be erased in a “tragic accident”, as well he inthe most painful way possible. I have pictures of him, that should keep My Sister-in-Law very happy she won’t need to find a new husband anytime soon.

But’s he’s alot like me - web addict on broadband and bad case of real life procrastination so is constantly finding odd things online while channeling Monty Python and Billy Connolly. His posts might be laced with more curse words than I like to post with. (IRL, I sw worse than a sailor, on here I try to remotely keep it clean since I have it on my professional site.) I’ve encouraged him to post whatever hits his fancy.

So, now that you htink I’m some freak, hope to you back when I come back. But i still have two weeks of normalcy still.

Not much to post except I’m selling a couple things on eBay. If anyone wants to buy them, go for it.

Momma needs vacation money and I’m trying to declutter. Woo hoo!

Boy, is that ever a futile, and under-rated statement. You have NO idea how much clutter I can have. ROOMS of clutter, one is bigger than my living room. I’m willing to GIVE some old macs away to a good home, if you pay shipping. Contact me if you are intersted.

Found this on Fark had to share it, whoever did it is damn fine by me.

Not much going on, so I’ll tell you about last weekend.

Mr. Man and I went to the county fair where we were both raised; Springfield, Clark County, Ohio. We’d been discussing it the last few years and had missed it until we found out hte dates again. We went to the fair where we live now, but no other fair competes with the hometown one. Now everyone says this about their hometown fairs, but with ours it’s true.

Springfield is one of the biggest cities in Ohio, Number #5 I believe at about 150,000 people - not a small town really. It’s pretty industrial, but it’s surrounded (like most cities inthe US) by ample farmland. And top that with Springfield being where 4H started 100 years ago this y, and you have the makings for a really big fair. And it is, really really big.

The Clark County Fair is the largest fair in the state, second to the Ohio State fair, which I believe is one of the largest state Fairs around. But unlike many county fairs that are nestled in, or like ours, on the edge of town - the County fair in Springfield is a very big deal. EVERYONE goes to it. Country and city boy alike. It’s really big; a bazillion rides, miles of food and tons of barns - 6 cattle barns I counted! All full. (And I might have missed some) They have horse barns, goat barns, sheep barns, pig barns, rabbit barns, chicken barns, llama barns… And not just one of each, several of each. And not having gone in ten years I can’t say I see ANY decline in exhibits. I used to be in 4H for ys, entered my rabbit (never caged him at the fair thouugh - a black Polish mini, he was a creature of comfort and air conditioning)

It’s always been a strong tradition to go to the fair and exhibit or just hangout with friends or family.

When we went it was really bright and hot, and Mr. Man not being a ride guy, we just cruised around the various buildings and barns munching here and there as we went., I’d been craving an “Elephant “ about three years and you can’t find those just anywhere.

It really brought back old times, literally. Walking through one of the buildings a short blonde came running at me, it wasn’t until she hugged me I recognized her. One of my old high school friends. Not one I’d call a best buddy, but we hung out. I’m really surprised she recognized me. I don’t look too much like I used too.

She was always this bouncy hyper smiling talking a mile a minute 5′0″ thing just hovering slightly above ground, and if you know me, I’m not that way. She was talking so fast and so excitedly I kinda remembered why I stopped hanging out with her, she was exhausting! Nice! don’t get me wrong, just a lot of work to talk to.

But running into her her I managed to back up my story I was quiet in school, attitude-wise I’m pretty much a new person. (Getting beat up and abused at school kinda changes ya) Mr. Man would never believe it, “Oh RIGHT, you were QUIET and SHY!? RIGHT!” Well she told him it was true, lol.

We traded emails (I kinda hope she won’t email, because I really don’t want to go back in time) and I noticed later that she’d put her phone number on the note too. It looked familiar. Like the one I dialed all the time. I suddenly remembered her living with her German mother who screeched like Dr Ruth all the time and rode her ass like a Nazi General officer rode Panzers rode into Poland. When she’d introduced herself to Mr. Man she’d used the name I knew in school, she’d never married and still lived with mom? I felt really bad for her, no wonder she was still the sam, she’s still stuck there and not able to really grow up yet.

I’m always proud to say where I’m from, and the heritage and history of my hometown, but I don’t ever want people to think I still live there, is that odd?

I’m here! Mwuhahaaa! Mwhuaahaaahaaahahaaa!

Prank forces MSN TV to dial 911 I mean hell at this point i think if they made shoes someone could find a secret back door to give someone athelete’s foot!

Have I turned your ht onto swanky classsics? Can you not get enough now? Then head over to Music From The BlueLight It’s is a Live365.com station, and is tres chic.

iTunes users: if you have it set for internet playback in your prefs, it will start up and play it for you. There is also a neat “crooners” channel in the 50’s category under the radio tool.

N’ync’s Lance Bass is going to where only a select few have gone before.

I know the press and public are having a field day with this, but yu know what I’m behind him. More power to you, Lance. Sure, it’s not being a “real astronaut” but who cares. He’s going into space all the same and only a hundred or so can say thye’ve eve been there.

Oh sure we can sniggle at it, but in ten years when he’s playing state fairs with a beer gut he can say “I’ve been to space.”

I would KILL to be able to go, I’d pay $20 Million easy if I had it. And he does, and can, and will, and more power to him! Fame is fickle and fleeting and it’ll be gone before he knows it, and so will the money and the girls - in that order.

This is one of those “live your life while your young” things. I hate his band, his music sucks, but if I was looking to have some fun with $20Mil I would pick this too. In a htbeat. A fancy mansion doesn’t compare with space travel.

And, He’ll have a hell of a story to tell the grandkids, because lets face it, space travel still won’t be standard issue travel by then either. Where would we go? There’s no place for a tourist to visit so far, other than doing what Lance is doing now paying money to drift arund and go lookie loo out a window and come back.

So Lance, more power to you - you lucky, lucky bastard. I’m not saying I don’t wish you blow up on the launchpad so we’re free of your screeching, but I don’t blame you a bit for going. If anything I think it’s the smartest thing you’ll ever do with your money, and in doing it you near a couple respect point from me. Considerign you had none before, that’s saying somethign.

You never get any younger than you are right now. Live it up, Lance. You bastard.

Seems Sen. Traficant liked to talk. Alot. Here are some of his “One Minute Speeches”. Sharing the insanity - boo yah!

link from Eventual Blog

If anyone is missing my pls of wisdom, I am posting at Dave’s blog too as time permits, but I thought it had been awhile since we all were Swankified.

Bossa Nova Ville - Exotique Bossa Nova

Dave’s latest post takes APple to task for it’s sticky fingers about Sherlock 3 and Watson’s being carjacked.

No one will defend Apple more than a Mac user, but we’re also some of it’s harshest critics. When it’s good it’s very very good, and we’ll dance a jig and sing praises to the Creator Steve, but when it’s stupid and done something wrong we’ll be the first to tell you, and the world. This is wrong. Bad Steve! Bad! No cookie!

Ok, I had to make one more post… one of my favorite scifi writers has a blog. Peter David - Writer of Stuff is the place. His current post kinda explains WHO he is and what he’s done. You probably have read or seen some of his this stuff and never knew it.

He’s a BIG name in the scifi/comic writing circles. He’s ane funny SOB too. I used to read his monthly columns WAYYYYY back in the Comic Buyers’s Guide (was that the title?), my brother worked at a comic store and would bring them home, his was the only stuff I used read religiously in it. I wasn’t a comic fan, I was a Peter David fan.

I’ve read several of his Babylon 5 and Star Trek books, to be honest he’s the ONLY Star Trek books I will read - period. They’re fun. He’s fun. One more blog to read! If Ii ever grow up to be a scifi writer, and I have a book in my head waiting to come out someday, I wanna be like him.

Ok, the fangirl is gonna slink off now… she’s afraid of being exposed to too much daylight.

I, Jen Segrest, apologize on behalf of all Ohioans for the lifelong fashion faux pas that IS Rep. James Traficant. We’re really really sorry to expose the world to this… and mostly, we’re really embarrsed to have to claim him. he’s not even MY representative, I live in the other corner of the state from him and I’m just ashamed of anyone with this huge of a lack of any of fashion sense.

Lawyer Jen: Your honor, look at this man… he dresses like a really bad Elvis impersonator! We won’t even mention the multitude of corruption charges, erratic and freaky court behaviour before the Senate seeking to oust him and rightly so. While he is most certainly guilty, we don’t care about the charges.

He deserves jail time just for that haircut. And that suit? My god, do we still do hangings? And as you can see your honor, due to this pitiful man’s long time history of fashion and good taste abuse… I humbly suggest the chair.

Ok, so I love that you can pull from your search columns, (artist, genre… up above your listings, click drag or commend+sclick drag the titles/names/genres/albums onto playlists and it will grab everything under that heading and put it inthere. If you knwo WHO you are looking for or WHAT you are looking for you can mass add then weed it out of your playlist later… love it. The best thing I’ve found so far.

and I like you can select a bunch of tunes at once, right click one ofthe mass selected ones, and in the pop-up menu and give a mass rating and it sticks to all of them - that’s cool.

and I like how you can add an equalizer column to your lists so you can song by song CHOOSE what equalizer gets used for it - that’s freaking brilliant!

but why can’t you do that with genres? Why cant you select a bunch from one artist or a several artists, and mass make them a genre? I want that. It’d be nice to mass choose a equalizer too for all the songs selected while you’re at it. - Apple, you missed a dot on this ‘i’ over here.

Steve, could you ln how to say JAGUAR before you look like a yokel onstage?

iCal looks cool, but I dont have much to manage. But I’ll download it of course. Apple - Collect the entire set.

Why can’t Tech TV show the Keynote TODAY? they are saying tommorrow they will show it and pretend they give a crap. (I like ya Gnomeboy, but TechTV needs to give Apple some proper lovin’ Probably to edit it out the crap they don’t care about. All they will show is the iPod info i bet.

iTunes 3 - gimme, gimme! I wasn’t a mp3 fan till iTunes came around, and of course now I’m a junkie.

20GB iPod - oh baby…{python}Oops! I think I wet’em.{/python}

iPod for PC? YES! (I hope you PC weeenies are happy, you’ve whined enough) This actually rather miffs me, they get everything, why should they get iPod too, especially if it it’s not with the coolest part, iTunes.

iSynch - synch cellphone, bluetooth devices, palm and iPod contacts and calendars with your mac. Synch your macs data - across the web. In seconds. And it reconizes what you have hooked up. (Wonder if it works on Visors… and of course I want a new phone now even as much as I love my now ancient Samsung 3500.

iMac news… highest imac marked down $100. New model. Larger Display! 17″ widescreen! 19″ resolution. 1440×900 res. $1999.

So, not much unexpected, but as always Steve fails to disappoint, his dedication to whole life integration and ease of use is an inspiration.

Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, ohio, middletown-cincinnati, Jennifer , Female, 31-35!

1. flicking june-bugs off the window screens with a satisfying POP onto the cement

2. wet grass stuck to your feet with cool dew

3. ice cream trucks, no mater how old you are you are instantly 8 all over again

4. the smell of bonfires in the night air

5. laying lazily in the dense shade of your own tree, faithful dog(s) at your side asleep