Archive for March, 2002

Odd things I find online…

So… I’m googling for extra wide curtan rods. i have a window the livingroom that is 135″ by 55″, so no ordinary rod is gonna work, so I’m trying to find SOME remedy. (Right now there is TWO crappy looking rods from the last owner.) So, anyway I decide to just type in: WIDE WINDOWS.

I’m not sure what it is, but it’s weird.

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A moment of Zen

Isn’t that just cute? I dont’ get into cute much, but I saw this on a japanese site, and had to show it here, I love how the leaves rustle.

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I’m cold and lonely out here, :niff sniff:: is there anyone out there? Anyone like me anymore? Leave a comment once in awhile folks! Geesh! It makes me think I’m losing my touch. (After all, I am touched you know)

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Stupid crap on TV

I’m a TV/movie junkie, admittedly, and not ashamed of it. But sometimes I just growl over stuff I see them do over and over and over… just proving the writers are idiots who have NO idea.

1: Play acting
We’ve all seen it, I know I do at least four times a y. Character 1 has a problem, Character 2 offers to help them by enagaing them in a bit of play acting to help them out. This could involve a sticky situtaion from asking a boss for a raise to asking out a girl. All are stupid, does any ANYONE play act out practice runs of these things with people in real life? Anyone?
Didn’t think so.

And, Mary will prolly agree with me on this next one…

2: Advertising Executives
Bewitched started it… and I am full convinced screen writers have NO idea how the advertising industry works then or now.

Usually you see Ad Agency shows, or characters and they (at least in comedies) will somehow end up having to write and perform some hokey jingle in front of “big mean client”. It’s so last minute they can only manage to get their best freind/roomate to help of course. Oh yeah, they always win the account, which everything was riding on of course, and they save the day. And usually get promoted.

My most blatant example would have to be What Women Want, where Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt play High Level AE’s who evidently do not require a creative staff or brainstorming sessions in any way. They draw, marker and voice over all the presentations themselves withut a need for a single support creative, despite there being a HUGE office filled with people. I guess they are just all there to get them coffee or be sex toys.

Now granted, I’ve been kind of stuck in “web design world” for a few years now, I’ve never been at a honest to god Ad agency, but PLEASE, do people even still USE markers? Jesus Christ, they were well on the way out in 1994 when I was graduating design school.

There are musicians on call who can write ditties, there are voice over people in every city who will come in a cut a track for a presentation. And agencies have a HUGE staff of creatives who think up, prepare and design all this stuff. In the old days due to costs marker and pen sketches on big white boards where a easy cost saving way, but now with computers you can show them a near complete mock up on a huge conference room screen if you wanted.

Mary Help me out, this one actually bugs the crap out of me… How much work DOES the AE’s do that is directly creative these days? I can’t imagine its more Than “Good job, guys, I think they’ll like this! I’ll present it tommorrow.”

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Another Cincinnati Blogger

Eric Caoili is a funny guy. Just found his blog last week. It pleases me greatly. But then most Web designers I’ve met are funny people. I think it’s all the caffiene and Tums.

Be sure to check out this entry, I snorted pop out my nose.

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What a differnece 5.3 hours makes

Israel Bombs Arafat. Yesterday he sounded all ready to end this thing, now it all blows to hell – for real – Yikes folks.

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Company of Crooks

Don’t Worry,Dave, It’s happened to the best of us.

In my case I got arrested for not going to court, after my car got towed from a unmarked fire lane where I parked it one night to get stamps real fast from the 24/7 supermega store. they had one of those lot vacuum trucks circling the front spaces so, thinking this was really fast trip, I just parked past the doors along the curb.

Okay – I was in a while longer than I planned, it should have taken under 3 minutes, I had exact change even. In a perfect world it would have been plop the money they give me the stamps a receipt and out I go. The stupid woman at the counter was new, slow as a sloth, and had NO idea what register had the roll of stamps which were typical for the desk to have. It took twenty minutes. I come out… no car. Cops come cite me, next day I get the car out of impound. Cost me $150 all totaled.

(Uhm, did I mention I was unemployed at this time? It was “just a silly parking ticket”, so I never went to court. Yeah, I know dumb. You do dumb s*** when you are unemployed.)

Few months later… Cop just showed up at my door one morning, arrested me for not apping. I was allowed to go 20 feet out my door and give my ATM card and passcode to a friend so she could bail me out a couple hours later, then he slapped the cuffs on – in front – and loaded me in the car.

My pal Broom says I can have fun in a empty room, well he’s right. I can. I was waving at folks I didn’t know from the back seat in my restraints. I asked “Officer Jerry” to look through the mug shot book for people I knew growing up, and when he was filling out my forms he read one part aloud “Amount of threat … zero” and laughed since I was playing with his desk pens and stapler at the time. I got printed and photographed and I immediately asked for a copy, and got one. As you can see. I wanted to have this big cheesy smile, Officer Jerry said I had to “look serious”. I was trying not to laugh by literally biting my tongue.

It was a stupid thing to be arrested for, and the cop who arrested me said “We normally wouldn’t do this, but the department is getting investigated so everything is handled by the book right now”. I was so embarrassed, but it was my own damned fault, I decided it wasn’t anything to get worked up over, it was ten kinds of stupid, might as well have fun with it. It’s just jail, not prison. ;-)

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Pick Your Own Caption

1: Sexy Saudi Leaders!!! XXX!!! HOT Palestinian on Israeli Action!
2: OOOH! You look darling! Is that dishtowel new!?
3: Pucker up baby, Uncle Yassar is going to feel up your West Bank.
4: Who me? Bombing? What Bombing? Oopsies!
5: You are getting sleepy, very sleepy… now pretend you’re a chicken!

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Whatever Lola Wants, Lola gets

Those who maybe came from one of my other sites know I am kinda obsessed/fascinated by the past, especially the near kitschy past of the fifties. I can’t explain it really. But I like to share my toys, so…. put on a silk smoking jacket, grab a martini and lay back in a leopard print Chaise – I present for your listening pleasure…

Whatever Lola Wants, Lola gets – Les Baxter

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AS some of you know, I’m weird. Being a webdesign and a weirdo causes you to makes sites for everything. I’ve got four. One is for my tacky travel/tourist snowdome collection.

PopCult .com wrote me a few weeks ago and asked to interview me on my snowdome site. Here’s the interview if you’re bored.

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Apparently the U.S. Copyright Office gets asked #58 enough to NEED to answer this on a website.

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Uhm…

Elvis actually IS alive?

American Literary Press is pleased to announce… The Truth About Elvis Aron Presley, In His Own Words, an incredible account of Elvis’ life during the twenty-four years since his death…. In this incredible memoir, Dr. Donald Hinton recounts the story of Elvis, alive and well and living in seclusion as “Jesse,” the name of his twin brother.”

Maybe that really WAS him I saw at the McDonalds.

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Triumph!

After 2 years of extensive research and funding, utilizing the most talented and brilliant scientfic staff almond M&M’s can buy, we have finally acheived our primary directive.

We ARE the #1 search result for “very big ass”.

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Minty Fresh Addiction


Sinus-wrenching rush.
Magic mint with Napalm power.
No more puppy breath.

These Listerine Pocketpack Strips are kicking my ass, literally. They really do cl your passages like a bully with a snowball the size of a sofa.

I can’t feel the center of my tongue anymore, is that bad?

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Phantom 309


BEWARE! Bus loads of vengeful kids are aiming thier vehicles at truckers when they don’t honk thier horns.

Back this week to hear more depressing Red Sovine rapping.

A couple weeks ago we did “Bringin Mary Home” about a kindhted trucker picking up a “little girl” on a road and taking her home only to find out she’s a ghoooost. The week before or so we had “Lil’Joe, about a trucker who to avoid a ‘busload of kids’ swerves and drives off a mountain. Instead of instantly becoming a fireball is instead is pulled to saftey by a PUPPY, but was only somehow tragically blinded (?) in the accident.

This one is about a trucker named BIG Joe, who swerves to avoid the bus of youngsters, crashes and dies, and then pick up hithchikers in a pityful excuse for an afterlife – sort of the flip flop/conglomeration of both the other songs. (Hey, I dont write this crap.) He Tells the hithchiker Phantom 309 is the name of his “rig”.

Red Sovine’s becoming increasingly boring with… “Phantom309″

NOTE: Should I keep posting these?

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Halle Was Half Right


In 1939 Hattie McDaniel won the Best Supporting Actress Academy Award for her performance as Mammy in Gone with the Wind.

So Halle was the first black woman to get it for lead actress, but not the first to get one for acting. Still awesome though.

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and the winner is…

“NOT Peter Jackson!”

OR it seemed that’s what the theme was last night. What a f***ing travesty.

I am so horribly pissed right now I can’t even communicate HOW upset I am. He took what for all the world NO ONE thought was a producible book, and not only adapted the the screenplay, but directed and produced the film to marvelous results that to all accounts faithfully kept to the book and was a wonderful movie and awe inspiring in fifteen ways.

SciFi/fantasy gets no damn respect. It’s fans get no respect. It’s a genre that can’t win. Let’s face it there have been some stellar sci-fi shows out there, Babylon 5, Farscape, Stargate… and they never win any industry awards unless they are from the Sci-Fi industry itself giving them out. The Emmys/Oscars all wave them over for things that are not as lucrative or popular. Anything that’s been seen by 12 people and made $30 bucks will win over any Scifi that was given top critical reviews and made 100 bazillion dollars.

Movies that are popular never win either, they somehow have that “lowbrow” tag on them, and anything the people like then must be crap. Spielberg for years got the shaft until he made a damn film in their ‘idiom” so that they COULDN’T ignore him anymore.

If Peter Jackson can’t win for this first movie, he’s NOT going to win off the next two, the awe and amazement of his success off such an undertaking will be gone. People don’t often get awards for sequels anyway. What’s true freaking crime story! He was robbed! THREE TIMES!

I say we all go out and See Lord of the Rings once more at least when it comes back out (with the new trailers for the Two Towers) and give Peter Jackson another 100 million bucks. Nothing says “we love you anyway” like Cash.

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I’ve been one selected to particpate in AB’s OscarBlog 2k2 So, when the show comes on, pull up the site and join in on the fun. TONIGHT 8PM (eastern)

Come on over and bring your favorite derogatory for Joan Rivers with you.

I’m rooting for LoTR, so you’ll hear me booing the loudest for the ‘quaint and thoughful’ crap.

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Little Green Bag


My brother and His wife and I are all big Barenaked Ladies fans. Them more than me I think now, they in fact saw them in concert I think 6 times last y, maybe more. This is a great cut he dug up “somewhere”. I was really digging it today, so I thought I’d offer it up.

Not many singers can hold their own against Tom Jones, but Steve can:
Little Green Bag

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Name that tune…

Obsessed with that song from the Mitsubshi ad like me?
This site will tell you ALL the songs and who does them. You can order from Amazon right there, or jot it down and head over to Limewire – oops did I say that?

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